Thursday, September 24, 2009
I'm sitting here, in the dust, the sun is hot, but I don't want to move. Actually, I'm afraid to move. I am paralyzed by indecision. There are too many choices and I don't know which direction to go. I feel alone. Where are the people? Why is it so quiet here? A slight breeze blows past my face but I barely notice the gift it is. That's how it is with me these days. I've lost my sense of wonder. I've grown cynical, and closed. I know, because I've been here before, that eventually, I will get up and just start walking, there is no other option, but I have no idea toward what I'm walking. I close my eyes and remember the other times I sat here and the way it all seemed to work itself out. I will myself to recapture wonder, and realize, I am again holding on way too tight to life. I need to let some air into this place. I need to re-learn how to breathe. When I open my eyes, I hear someone saying, "take all the time you need." And I relax a little. I breathe in, and then out. I open my hands, catch the breeze and realize what a gift this place is.