Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Spun Gold

Lord, it feels like so much is going on and I'm beginning to spin.
Spin, Spin, can't see where I've been or where I'm goin'.
Nah, that's not true cuz I see You
Behind me, beside me, in front of me, above me,
Leading, loving, directing, protecting.

On the edge of dreams realized, I tend to analyze,
The world and my soul, my calling and my home.

Lord, You always make me jump, into what seems thin air
Falling into what's always there...

You.

But I'm tied into knots still
Climbing these steep hills
Anxious about things you told me not to worry about
Money, family, the unknown and all that.

When I first saw my dream, it was a beautiful thing it seemed
But walkin' into it now, it's more complicated somehow.
My human hands have touched it
Now it bleeds colours unimagined
Changin' the more involved I become
Still beautiful held beneath this Sun.

Oh, somedays I'm ready; waiting to fly,
Other moments I'm frozen, feeling parts of me die.
Leaving things behind I'm not gonna need
The broken heart; the pain of separation; the fear to take lead

Lord, I've always cried out, "choose me,"
In zeal and passion, perhaps naively.
But I'm here and I recognize the path we have chosen
So let me take Your hand and walk with You until this dream turns golden.

4 comments:

roomie said...

Nicole,
this is an awesome post. Its intense real and very moving!!

Nicole said...

Thanx B!

Michelle said...

I feel you slipping away already and I am sad. It is selfish to want you here with me so I try to repent at the same time that I cry. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you and your dreams. You are the most amazing combination of iron will and heartbreaking vulnerability. It's no wonder God has plans for you that are bigger than any of us. I love you. I'll miss you and God will bless us, the ones you leave behind too so go without regrets. Love your big sister.

Nicole said...

Michelle-y...last night I dreamed that you came with me for just a little bit to Beautiful Gate, to hold my hand and encourage me forward; to not be afraid. (I was so afraid!) I hope you know it is your hand holding mine that gives me strength to do this. I'm not leaving you behind. Your love and encouragement will be with me! If I didn't have you...I LOVE YOU!