Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Homesick

As I was going for my run today, very reluctantly I might add, I let my thoughts wander. I do a lot of good thinking when I run and today I also let out some frustrations as I pounded the pavement.

I'm having another not so great day.

Maybe it's because the life I'm living is all the more magnified since coming home from the lake this weekend. A life I'm just not satisfied with. It's hard to admit because I feel guilty for saying it. I have an amazing family, wonderful friends and a church community I've really invested in, but I know this is just not 'it' for me.

But how do I trust God with this time despite my dissatisfaction? How much do I involve myself in my future and how much do I let Him lead? Do I go in faith? Or wait in faith?

I am aching, longing, dreaming of my Africa and the people there who seem to call me to them. It sounds ridiculous, but there it is. It's my own personal obsession, my passion, my dream.

I am homesick today. Homesick for Africa. And getting a little weary of waiting...

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Ok people, before this goes on anymore, I'm erasing ALL the comments for this post.

I think this could be a good reminder that it takes many kind and encouraging words to build someone up, but only one harsh, critical word to tear someone down.

Thank you to those who have built me back up this week!

Augusto: Thank you for your words of encoragement all the way from Nicaraugua.

Rob: Thank you for your clear perspective on things this week and for the many words of support and encouragement. You have my permission to criticize if necessary. :-)

Jennifer: I really needed to hear those words of encouragement. Thank you!

Mikey: thanx for experiencing perilous danger just to hug me through your computer. I don't always need wise words or advice and you just always seem to know what I need!

Rolly: Thank you for being a very good protective father! Love you!

Until next time!