As I was going for my run today, very reluctantly I might add, I let my thoughts wander. I do a lot of good thinking when I run and today I also let out some frustrations as I pounded the pavement.
I'm having another not so great day.
Maybe it's because the life I'm living is all the more magnified since coming home from the lake this weekend. A life I'm just not satisfied with. It's hard to admit because I feel guilty for saying it. I have an amazing family, wonderful friends and a church community I've really invested in, but I know this is just not 'it' for me.
But how do I trust God with this time despite my dissatisfaction? How much do I involve myself in my future and how much do I let Him lead? Do I go in faith? Or wait in faith?
I am aching, longing, dreaming of my Africa and the people there who seem to call me to them. It sounds ridiculous, but there it is. It's my own personal obsession, my passion, my dream.
I am homesick today. Homesick for Africa. And getting a little weary of waiting...