Monday, June 06, 2005

I'm in A London Fog

His Love is Deeper Posted by Hello
So, I'm at work, making coffee, being polite, blah, blah, when 2 people come in. Sonja (my boss) and I chat with them a little (we like to chat with people). They order, I start making their drinks and I overhear the girl say she was visiting Rhodes Memorial in South Africa when she first had Rooibos tea. So, of course, I excitedly turn to her and say, you were just in South Africa? I just came back from there too! She casually looked in my direction and made some sort of noise similar to "huh" and continued talking to the guy she was with. Now, at first I was just like, ok, whatever, carry on. But then I hear them talking some more and realize these guys are Christians and as I am facing the espresso bar steaming milk, I just feel this overwhelming sense of sadness because I just really wanted to talk to them ya know? Share a couple stories in a brief moment. Connect. And you know, there are probably plenty of reasons why she was so indifferent and plenty of reasons why I'm so upset about it. I mean, it has nothing to do with her and everything to do with me. Why did it strike at such a tender area of my heart? Maybe because I know I had something to offer in that moment and believe me, working in a coffee shop, any chance I have to offer who I really am is rare. And I just wish, beyond all wishing, that relationships between Christians could be so much more than they are. Am I expecting too much?Meh, I might be making more of this than necessary but does anyone understand? I'm not sure if I even do. Just wanted to spill.....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ummm, I'm a little behind here, but your truth reminded me of a quote I've been reminded of a few times recently ---I don't know what the author was actually thinking, but to me it's acknowledging that hope can kill, it can be stifling and rob your of your own soul, if it's not hope IN something...and not just some thing, but the only something that is worth hoping in, if I may be so bold to offer. This is the quote:

"the Bible is a window in this prison of hope through which we look into eternity"

And yes Nicole, someone gets it.