Journey...to Africa

The What If's?

2011-07-07T18:47:00.000-06:00

Patrick comes in 3 days, I am 37 weeks along, 3 weeks (give or take) to go and there are dozens of questions rolling around in this hormonally affected brain of mine about being a mom, about what our baby will be like, about the future of our family, about Canada and Africa and where to put down roots and about never ever leaving my husband's side for this long again, no matter how desperate our state.

I keep recalling one step of Ang Tulay (The Bridge) which is FEARS and WORRIES and the painting we put up of a girl, wringing her hands, deep in thought, wondering "WHAT IF." That's me. I am full of "what if's."

At that step, we asked children to write down their fears and worries on a piece of paper, then they could share with the group if they wanted, and finally, we went together as a group to burn them after releasing them to God.

To end off the session, we asked the children to write their hopes and dreams on a bookmark that they could keep and reflect back on. It was simple, but profound for them, and for us adults who went through the steps ourselves.

I think I need to revisit this step of the bridge myself. Yes, I think I do.

Finally Moving!

2011-05-24T19:37:00.001-06:00

Wow, it's been a while since I wrote a post here. Actually, it feels like I've been holding my breath for the past 5 months and it has been hard to concentrate on anything other than, will my husband be here for the birth of our child? It has been a difficult road, being separated like this in such a vulnerable time. But I have had such an incredible support network of friends and family. I am so thankful for them!

GOOD NEWS! We just found out on Monday Patrick was indeed granted the visitor visa and he will be arriving the beginning of July! Phew...I can now let out a sigh of sweet relief! I know he will be by my side for this momentous occasion.

Now begins the real work of preparation. Preparing for Patrick's arrival, for baby's arrival, preparing to be parents!! I am so excited, nervous, anxious.

A lot of people have been asking us what next also. We honestly don't have an answer yet. I know, it seems odd that we could wait so long to make decisions about our future, but that's kind of how we operate, and I'm ok with that. When we're ready, we'll make the big decisions about where to be in the immediate future, with Uganda and Africa still at the centre of our hearts.

Wow, it feels good to be moving forward after this long, arduous waiting time. Kind of like filling your lungs with fresh air after travelling in an airplane for 2 days. It's almost intoxicating!

Step, step, step...breathe...

30 Weeks

An Entry From Patrick

2011-04-27T22:13:00.001-06:00

A piece my husband wrote about the recent clashes with citizens and the government in Uganda

CONTRADICTIONS WITH OUR PRESIDENT

It's hardly two months since our all wise President, Mr. Museveni, was in the media criticizing the US, Canada, UK, France, etal for militarily intervening in Libya. According to our President, the west should have engaged in dialogue with the embattled Libyan leader, Ghadafi. He reasoned that the west was being simplistic in addressing the situation in Libya and were using the approach of 'might is right' that is wrong according to him.

For about two weeks now, several Ugandans have mobilized for walk to work protests in protest of skyrocketing fuel and food prices in the country. Currently, fuel and food prices have doubled and beyond and inflation has doubled from 6% in February 2011 to above 11% this month. All this resulted from corruption, careless Government spending on activities that are not people oriented such as the recent expenditure of over 740 million US dollars to buy fighter jets from Russia God knows to fight who!, financing activities meant to develop the stomachs and cheeks of the ruling individuals and their relatives, emptying of the national treasury to finance the recent elections (vote buying), high taxation and to a small extent the global economic factors.

Many Ugandans can hardly now afford a meal and other basic essentials hence the attempt to walk to work in protest of the economic situation in the hope to draw Government's attention to their suffering. Our 'wise' President's response has been tear gassing, beating up, shooting and arresting of people participating peacefully in the walk to work protests. So far 4 people are confirmed dead and over 47 injured from gun shots, while close to 300 have been arrested and jailed for attempting to walk to work.

I am left wondering why the contradiction. I thought in the wisdom of our president he would have engaged the nation in dialogue instead of the 'Might is right' approach he criticized the west for.

A while ago, I remember watching a video of the swearing in ceremony of our President in 1986 when he had just taken power, of course by the gun. Our dear president was on record for saying, 'the problem with African leaders is overstaying in power' and that he was ushering in a new era, 'a fundamental change.' We are now in the 25th year of Museveni's presidency and will be in the 30th year come 2016. This follows several manipulations of the constitution to extend his stay in power, stolen and sham elections. What became of the promised fundamental change?

In the early days of his presidency, the good president openly criticized the previous governments for being extravagant with tax payer's money and non responsive to needs of Ugandans. A while a go, among many examples, the president sent one of his daughters to give birth in Germany in a presidential jet, costing the tax payer several millions. For the size of our economy, that was quite a pinch. Interestingly, that money could have improved facilities in any of our rotten hospitals to the comfort of the first daughter and would be available to serve many other Ugandan mothers that keep dying or cheating death (for the lucky) due to inadequacies in our maternity services.

What happened to the big heart, the heart for the nation.

I see many contradictions in our President, what happened? Who is this man? I am tempted to think, if Museveni of back then, by any chance happened to meet Museveni of today, he would beat the hell out of this one, that's only of course if the former Museveni was not fooling Ugandans about his character.

'War Dance'

2011-04-17T21:10:00.000-06:00

It took me about 2 weeks to actually finish this documentary. I watched the first half and had to stop, it was too much. I finally finished it tonight. It ended on a much more positive note, not that my comfort should matter in this case. Oh God! I don't know. Lately I don't know what I should be writing here. I feel so mixed up. I listen to these kids stories, I cry. I wish I could wrap my arms around all of them.

The children in this film are from a place called Pader in Northern Uganda. They are from a tribe called Acholi. Some of my fellow staff members who I worked with at YWAM Arua, were Acholi. One close friend of mine, told me her story of being abducted by the LRA and how she escaped.

Our Ang Tulay team from the Philippines went to Pader in 2006, long before I had even met them, to meet with the youth. They could only manage to just start the healing process before realizing these youth were so traumatized, they needed to proceed with caution. As it was only a short visit, they decided not to proceed with any more of the process at that point until there could be more resources and people trained to walk with them.

When I participated in my first Ang Tulay, two staff members from one of the schools in Pader were part of my small group. It was intense. Even these adults, had not yet processed the grief and trauma of growing up themselves in a war zone.

I was meant to go to Pader with a group of young adults in 2009. I really wanted to go, but felt I needed to stay back to organize the closing of the three week camp they were part of. Interestingly enough, that's when Patrick and I met and hit it off and began our journey. Had I not met and fallen for Patrick, I might never have returned to Uganda. I was ready to quit Uganda for good. Huh...guess God had other plans...

So, that's the teeny tiny way my life has interacted with the lives of Northern Ugandans. So, I keep wondering...yah, I just keep wondering...

And look at how music, dance, the ARTS bring healing! It is beautiful and profound and I want to continue to walk that path with people. Hell, I want to walk that path with myself!

"15 Minutes Away"

2011-03-18T19:21:00.000-06:00

This song makes me think of me and Patrick right now trying to make ends meet across oceans. Love K'naan's music and what he writes about!

21 Weeks

2011-03-17T20:21:00.000-06:00

I haven't really documented this particular pregnancy journey so far..well, here's a few things from the past couple days...

Heightened sense of smell: as in, I can smell the guy who didn't wash his hair sitting next to me or the guy who had lots of green beer today...ugh!

Hot flashes: almost died today on the packed bus ride to work! I am usually always the cold one!

Centre of gravity changing, clumsiness etc: Yes, that was me who tried to squeeze past the wall and a stantion at work today totally forgetting about the protruding stomach I have. I am also frequently dropping things like, keys or my half a bagel!

Oh yah, speaking of lunch, is this baby having a sudden growth spurt? I am ravenous and must eat every 2 hours at least!

And then there are the moments I feel baby moving. Nothing so substantial as a kick, but those flutters and waves bring me right to the centre of everything in a moment. My baby. Wow! I love that I first felt baby move when I was walking through the West Africa gallery at work.

And I love my growing tummy. I love to stroke it and talk to baby, feeling our bond growing with every day that passes.

I dream of who baby will be, how Patrick and I will parent baby, what baby will teach us!

I've heard mother's talk of 'falling in love' with their babies. I am only now beginning to understand what they mean.

Cuz I am falling in love!

January Update Letter

2011-02-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

OKIRING JANUARY UPDATE

Hello all from Calgary, Canada. Thought I'd update you on the last 2 months as there has been a lot going on.

First of all, I usually like to save the best news for last, but in this case it needs to be the headline!

We are very excited to announce that our family of two will soon be three! We are expecting our firstborn at the end of July!! This was the other major factor in the decision to return back to Canada. We both want the baby to be born here. I am now 14 weeks along and feeling very good. It feels great to let you in on the news at last!

Now for the rest...About Patrick's Grandmum, the woman who raised him and is very special to both of us!

In early December, Patrick's grandmother complained of severe pain so we brought her to Kampala for treatment. It was there they discovered she had kidney stones. She was quite badly off as she was unable to keep anything down and became severely dehydrated. She was admitted to hospital for a few days where they were able to give her pain medication and restore her fluids. During that time, one of us had to stay with her at the hospital each night she was there. First me, then Patrick, then Patrick's mother came to town and stayed a night. So Grandmum was very cared for. As she had passed one of the stones, she was able to be discharged until we could make a plan to remove the other stones still in the kidney and urethra.

Thankfully, she was feeling good enough to attend the wedding of Patrick's sister, Angela. So, we all celebrated in true Ugandan style! Lots of ululating and dancing! :)

Knowing that Grandmum was homesick for the village we all planned to go back for Christmas. We found out that a urologist from Nairobi, Kenya, comes once a month with equipment to blast the kidney stones so we decided she would be ok until then. She left early and we joined everyone on Christmas Eve. We brought Christmas lights and strung them up on the veranda and made it very festive. We ate lots of food, smoked beef, chicken, roasted pork, matooke (boiled or steamed green banana), rice, atape (millet bread) and of course soda! Fanta and Coke being the most popular!

They even brought out Grandmum's local brew to enjoy, millet beer!

We travelled back to Kampala on the 27th (my birthday and my sister's too!), so that I could prepare to travel and have quality time with Patrick before leaving for Canada. We had birthday dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and then I bought a HUGE slice of chocolate cake from the I (Love) New York Kitchen.

The evening I was to leave, I was surprised by a dozen or so relatives, including Patrick's Aunt Jane who flew from the UK for a surprise visit, who escorted us all the way to Entebbe to see me off. We first stopped to eat roasted fish on the beach and then travelled together to the airport. I wish I had a picture of all of them but in all the rush I never got my camera out. :(

Saying good-bye to Patrick was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It was a long, lonely flight. I was happy to finally see my friends, the Amos family, who picked me up from the airport. I had a hot bath, and went with them to enjoy New Year's Eve at another friend's place, the Elders. I didn't make it past 8pm. They let me crash in their guest bedroom and crash I did! The next day, my mom picked me up and I spent a few wonderful days catching up with her.

So, I have settled in quite quickly. I kind of had to as I began work less than a week after I'd arrived! Everyone has been so amazing! Friends, family, co-workers. I am so grateful for you all! Thank GOD for the Scott family who has put me up again in their guest room and made me part of their family.

Thank GOD also for Skype. I have been able to see and talk to Patrick on the computer for free which is much more than we've had before.

We are now working on a plan to either get Patrick here on a visa to work temporarily or at the very least, to come on a visitor's visa to be present for the birth.

An update on Grandmum's situation: The doctor who comes once a month to Kampala said their equipment was not sufficient for the size of her stones and she will need to be treated in Nairobi. This means airfare and hotel stay for Patrick, his grandmum and an escort as well as the cost of treatment. I am grateful I came back when I did to work but please pray we can sort out the finances between the various family members so as to get Grandmum the proper treatment she needs.

If you are so inclined, please pray for us:

-Pray for Patrick's grandmum and her health
-Pray that Patrick does not get overwhelmed but has support from friends and family around him
-Pray for the health of our unborn child and myself
-Pray for us to have favour with Canadian immigration when it comes to visas
-Pray for us to get direction on the future ministry we long to do in Uganda and the means to make it happen

Thank you all for your continued interest in the journey we are taking to make a difference in the Ugandan communities we are part of. We couldn't do it without your support.

Much love,
Nicole, Patrick and Baby

If You Need It Transported, The Boda Boda Has Got You Covered!

2011-01-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Just a common sight in Kampala. Boda bodas will carry anything!

32 Years Young!

2011-01-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

My extremely large slice of chocolate birthday cake from I Love NYK

It is almost as big as my head! Funny, I ate hardly any of it because I was having an aversion to chocolate at the time. I wanted to want it!

Christmas In Pallisa Village

2011-01-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

My crazy husband..he looooves the village!

Christmas lovin'

Food, food, lots of food and Sheilla!

The children

Christmas lights!

Sheilla

Patrick handing out sodas

Our "dining" area

More Christmas lights!

Neighbours comin' to take part in local millet beer drinking. They drink from the pot with those long straws

The woman here was very entertaining after partaking of the beer. She and I danced to Congolese music

It was a chilly evening...Grandmum in the middle

Add caption

Nah I didn't really drink it, though I wanted to! I was already preggers

Mmmm...take that Guiness!

Ben and Angela's Wedding

2011-01-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Ben and Angela Waiswa

Just missing Emmie, the youngest brother to join the sibling plus mum photo

Good lookin' family!

I love this pic of Angela

Crane dancers, amazing traditional dancing

Cousin Sheilla with Ben and Angela's son, Shiloh

Other cousin Isabella and bro Dennis

Sweet Gabi, sister to Isabella and Sheilla

Enjoying being next to Patrick for a few more weeks

Best man at our wedding Dennis with his honey

Dancing Ja-Ja (Granny)

Male Crane Dancer

Baby Shiloh

My sister-in-law Angela, had a beautiful wedding in December. A great way for the family to come together. Lots of dancing and ululating! :D

New Year, New Journey

2011-01-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

Well...here I am, back in the Scott household, in my old room, in Calgary, in the winter, getting over jet lag and wondering how I got here.

I have the best family and friends. So supportive, loving, encouraging, generous...so I feel guilty wishing I wasn't here.

Walking through the Calgary airport terminal on my way to collect my luggage, I got teary-eyed. And not because of the usual feeling of how good it is to be 'home,' but because I didn't want to be 'home.' I wanted to be with Patrick, my husband of only 6 months, who I left back in Uganda in our apartment, alone.

I am going to try to be positive about this. There are blips and bumps and valleys and all that along life's journey. Just because the view from here is sheltered and shrouded in mystery, does not mean there isn't a big grande view just above me, waiting to be revealed...

I am going to make my peace with this...somehow...

Most Recent Update Letter

2011-01-05T07:36:00.002-07:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS
AND
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Hello everyone from Kampala. I know it's been too long since you heard from me. I am so sorry. There has been much happening and I wanted to be sure of a few things before writing this update.

I think the last you heard from me I was commuting back and forth to Jinja for ministry, doing Ang Tulay. Unfortunately, that work ended in October and I was left trying to figure out what to do next. As there is no YWAM base in Kampala, I didn't have any contacts or a place to plug myself into easily. Friends David and Heather Kapyayte, who run a primary school, invited me to teach Life Skills to the older students. I went to meet the students and was excited about the opportunity. But we soon realized, with the term ending and the students beginning their exams, it was not practical to begin a course at that time.

Patrick started a new job with a Ecobank and has enjoyed the more professional environment there, though there are still similar pressures and an exploitation of employees commonly seen here in Uganda. Many of his colleagues and co-workers urge him to look for work outside of Uganda as there is little room for advancement here.

Over the last few months, we have experienced a series of difficult circumstances and disappointments. I won't get into details, but long story short, after much deliberation and prayer, we have had to make the difficult decision for me to go back to Canada to work. I leave on the 30th of this month and will arrive in Calgary on the afternoon of the 31st. Thankfully, and to my astonishment, the museum will indeed take me back again and already has work ready for me to come back to. Patrick will remain here at his job until something else opens up.

Of course, seeing family and friends again will be awesome as I have missed you all so much! But it does not cancel the pain we feel to be separated after only 6 short months of marriage. It also does not cancel the disappointment we feel to have to delay our dreams of ministry in Uganda. We are hoping and praying for an opportunity to open up for Patrick to also join me in Calgary as soon as possible. Please keep us in your prayers. Also, if you know of any contacts for jobs in Patrick's profession (Information Systems Auditor), or otherwise (I think he'd make a great Fedex driver considering how he has to navigate traffic in Kampala!!), please, let us know. We hope to earn enough money to build rental properties in Soroti, Uganda as a way to support ourselves and our ministry in future.

We can't always understand the direction God chooses to take us, but we can still choose to trust Him.

We wish you all a wonderful Christmas and New Year and I look forward to catching up with those of you in Calgary very soon.

Peace,
Nicole and Patrick

Advent

2010-12-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Trying to bring a bit of tradition into the Christmas season here. I always loved the lighting of the Advent wreath at my Lutheran church as we counted down to the celebration of the Messiah being born in Bethlehem. Christmas has always been a mysterious and beautiful holiday for me. It doesn't really 'feel' like Christmas here but I am trying all the same to make it special.

I found the garland at a South African chain store here called Game, kind of like a Walmart, but smaller. Then I just twisted it into a circle and found these candles at the local supermarket and voila! MY own homemade Advent Wreath. I am so 'Martha Stewart!' :-P

Receiving The Honor of Being American For A Day (So I Could Eat The Food)

2010-12-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

My friend Heather who lives here in Kampala and is also married to a Ugandan, David, invited me to participate in her Thanksgiving Celebration. It was great! I helped her cook all the things we love to eat at Thanksgiving (minus the turkey-no oven). I was impressed how close to perfect all our dishes were. And sharing the meal with her Ugandan family was also special. Take a look..

Sitting around the table "North-American style"

Candied pumpkin

Stuffing

Garlic mashed potatoes

Fried zucchini (not a dish I was familiar with but very yummy)

Deviled eggs (minus paprika)

Caramel pudding dessert with biscuit (aka cookie) crust

Heather

Fun!

The alternative to turkey: fried chicken

David and Heather Kapyate

Family and Friends

A Most Precious 'Jewel'

2010-12-01T07:09:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Harriet, who was also one of my bridesmaids, finally gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on October 5. They named him Jewel. She is a loving, wonderful mother already and daddy is a proud papa! Congrats friends!

Autumn Leaves In My House

2010-12-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to bring some Canadian fall atmosphere into my life, I made these leaves and hung them up on the wall. Patrick says it looks like a kindergarten classroom but whatever! Fall is my favorite season and I was feeling homesick. Now, for some snow....

I (Heart) NYK

2010-10-26T08:20:00.000-06:00

I have always liked the NYK (New York Kitchen) for its bagels, cream cheese, and bottomless coffee (bottomless anything being a completely foreign concept here in Uganda). They also serve pepperoni pizza and mac and cheese! Never mind they are located in the corner of the parking garage at Garden City Mall, a little car exhaust is a small price to pay for a taste of home.

So, when my friends and I decided to have lunch there the other day, we were shocked and delighted to see they had renovated the place! Now, the restaurant was actually inside with shiny red and black vinyl booths and metal rimmed tables surrounded by floor to ceiling photos of New York City.

But what really made our day and I mean MADE our day, were the rows upon roes of cupcakes piled high with buttercream icing! I took one look and thought: "CRAVE CUPCAKES!" Sure enough, we discovered, these cupcakes were of the gourmet persuasion (they even had my favorite, RED VELVET!!!!) and like Crave, once they were sold out that day, they were sold out! I can't even begin to describe the joy of finding something so familiar, so glaringly North American in the midst of everything FOREIGN! It's like a little cupcake haven for the Kampala-weary westerner...

We met the owner, who is as vivacious as the restaurant and promised to put our picture on the wall of the restaurant. This has been her dream and we are quite happy to be the ones to taste the realities of it!

It looks like we're really in Times Square!

I do. I do (heart) New York Kitchen

Glorious!

Decadent!

Very excited me!

Hailin' a taxi cab!

Pallisa Village In Pictures

2010-10-21T10:32:00.000-06:00

Our Turkey wedding gift living a great life in the village

Our turkey chicks. I was particularly pleased to see the white one...

Patrick has kept this traditional grainery as a reminder of what life was like then

Beautiful Matriarchs of the family

Chicks

Deliciously sweet oranges growing in the village home

Oranges!


Dinah picking the oranges

Dinah

Lemons

Breathe Deeply

2010-10-14T08:10:00.000-06:00

How many months has it been since I unrolled my purple yoga mat? Too many! With all the travelling and running around, I have really grown lax with any kind of exercise routine. But today, feeling my body ache in ways it hasn't before, I decided I needed to get back on the mat!

And OH! What a great hour I spent, twisting, moving and manipulating my body, gently, into the various poses, focusing on breathing in..and out..feeling the stress and worry in my mind slip quietly away if only for that one hour.

Though I have definitely lost strength and flexibility, it still felt so good! Like a hot bath, or a perfect stretch after napping. It was invigorating; calming, just what I needed! Tomorrow, I will try again, and hopefully the next day and the day after that..ahhhhhhhh..breathe deeply.

Ang Tulay at YWAM Jinja Vocational Training School

2010-10-12T04:56:00.002-06:00

Well, just like I had hoped after finishing our week in Soroti, the team met up again, this time in Jinja, to run Ang Tulay for the students and staff of the Vocational Training School (or VTS for short).

I was dismayed to discover I had been put with the babies group for the week! I don't do babies and toddlers in groups bigger than 2! I mean, the students of the VTS are teenage girls, the kind of group I like working with most and here I was chasing after kids, wiping snotty noses and getting peed on! Every morning and afternoon during the sessions, we took the children of the students and staff so they could be fully engaged in their sessions. With Lovisa, my co-leader, we lugged 5 children under 3 yrs old along with our bags, their bags and cookies to placate them, up to our room to proceed the chaotic mix of games, discipline, pee breaks, cookies and juice and some ultra sweet moments as well.

Wow! As I struggled through the first few days, I began to soften towards my "mission." It was hard, it was dirty, it was lonely at times but I told God, "Ok. I came here because I really long to see people find healing for the traumatic events they've been through. And if watching these kids will help the parents experience this healing, then I'm willing. But please God, HELP!"

It's true that my giftings lie in listening, counselling and relationships, and perhaps I would have been best suited to be a small group leader. But that's not the point. I was chosen to do a task for the team and to do it joyfully. Well, I had moments of joy...no really, I did. And I tried to put my own wants aside and just be the best auntie for those kids that I could be, despite my limitations.

Some of our joys:

Our one and only little girl, Fiona, would throw a tantrum every time she had to leave the mother and we would have to literally carry her kicking and screaming to the room and then she would settle down. About mid-week she would protest a little and finally by the end of the week, she was happy and willing to come with us.

There was a day we went for a walk with the children. We went for frequent walks. The children were so curious and would stop along the way to explore and so we too would stop. Then I noticed that if Auntie Lovisa began to walk ahead of them, the children, now fully trusting us, would toddle behind like chicks following the mother hen. Again they would stop to explore and again, when Lovisa kept walking, they would follow behind without needing to be told. It was so precious!

Our 10 month old baby, John Paul took his first steps in our presence! Later when we told the mother, we got him to demonstrate, and he walked clear across the room to fall happily into his mother's arms! What a milestone for a child and what a privilege for us to witness it!

I just laughed every time one of our boys said the word "butterfly." Like, "butterfuhly" with his tongue sticking out on the "fuhly" bit. It seriously cracked me up and he liked that it made me laugh and said it a lot over the week!

Anyway, all of that is to say, I have now understood Ang Tulay is so much about the seemingly small moments because those small moments make up the larger journey we call life. Each journey begins with a step. Each life begins with a seed. John Paul literally took his first steps on his life journey, his mother took some steps towards healing and I also think I took a few steps on that journey of self-discovery and the discovery of God's mysterious ways of knitting us all together.

Now the Precious Jewels team from the Philippines have gone back. This season is over. We will see them again next year. What a deep and full three months we have had!

Lovisa with the children

Fiona, Elisha and Joseph

Joseph

Joseph and Ezekiel

Elisha and Fiona

Ezekiel

Shiomar helping us with the kids

Goin' for a walk

Shiomar with John Paul

Mother Hen with her chicks

The boys liked anything with wheels

Fast asleep

Some of the participants of Ang Tulay with team members

Saying goodbye to Teacher Eve, team member, roomate, friend

Julius, in the background, one of our team members is father to these two kids, Joseph and Ernest, with Eve.

Meeting a new friend, Erica.

Ang Tulay Soroti 2010

2010-09-21T09:23:00.000-06:00

The following are excerpts and pictures from my newsletter update:

Ang Tulay Soroti 2010

Our team from Jinja, Arua, Philippines and Kampala went to Soroti for a week to walk with the children and staff of Amacet on the journey of grief and loss.

Jinja Prep

We started in Jinja with preparations for our Ang Tulay in Soroti. We had to get together with our small groups, go over process questions, collect materials for the activities, practice the stories and skits which are all part of the week and pray for each other and the participants we had yet to meet. I was assigned to be a Small Group Leader for 11 children aged 9-11. My Assistant Small Group Leader was Julius, one who speaks the language of the children in that area, and we also had Kizza who was shadowing us as someone new to Ang Tulay. I also had a story about Acceptance to share with the large group and many songs and icebreakers to lead.

The Children Arrive!

The kids at first were shy and didn’t say much. I think when they came into the classroom the first day and saw our seating arrangement, they knew something was up. Instead of row by row desks, we had placed the desks in a circle so we could all see each other and create a more intimate setting for sharing.

We had a mix of children from the village, from Amacet children’s home, children of staff members, some spoke English, others only Ateso. Their stories and experiences were as varied as they were and none without pain and loss.

The Small Group

They were a lot more expressive during the activities than the sharing time. I am often amazed at how creative expression helps us process things we often can’t express with words.

An example is Fears and Worries. The children wrote down or drew their fears and worries and then together as a group we burned those fears and worries and it was very meaningful for them. After that we created bookmarks with their hopes and dreams on them that they will keep as a reminder. It was a profound moment for many of them that despite the fears and worries they face, they can still forge ahead to hope and dream!

By the end of the week, during our step of the bridge called “Acceptance” we could not call on the children fast enough! They all had something to share! It was a great moment for me to see them so open and discussing their difficult past as a way to move forward stronger. Like the butterfly which struggles in the cocoon before it is able to fly, the children understood that our struggles help strengthen our wings so we can fly! A truly beautiful moment that was seeing them really get it!

"I Am Unique" and "Feelings" Activities

"Pain and Anger" Activity: Throw Your Anger...Into Colour!

Using the butterfly to help explain "Acceptance"

Celebration

We all ate a yummy meal together at the end of the week complete with sodas and decorations! The kids were in heaven, many of them knowing they had to return to the village the next day.

Reaching The End of the Journey

What privilege and joy to be the ones God uses to reach into the depths of these kids souls and bring out the treasure within!

Well, the 5am mornings and 11pm evenings, keeping up with 11 very energetic children, being present when they were sharing their deepest pain, the often frustrating moments of working as a team was all worth it!

As we sat together on Friday night, all exhausted from walking the journey with these children and adults, I couldn’t help but feel my heart leap at the idea of doing it again! When? Where? Who? Don’t know yet, but I know that the struggle is all worth it! For the freedom of the children it is worth it!

The children go back

Team members Bingi and Shiomar

PJM Dutch-Canadian-Filipino Joke and I

Pastor Gordon from Victoria, BC

Cultural Adjustment and A Coveted Mango

2010-09-21T06:53:00.002-06:00

Today I was pleasantly surprised when I went out to the market. I decided to make the 25 minute walk there because I desperately need exercise and I plugged my ears with my tunes, partly because that's how I always exercise and partly so I wouldn't hear the boda boda guys call out at me...it's interesting as I left the house, I was thinking about a post I would write about the infuriating word "mzungu." Instead I am writing this little post in surprise.

I actually enjoyed my trip to the market today! Hope is restored! Ok, I know, tomorrow can change and I might be frustrated again but for now I'm going to revel in this unexpected moment of...optimism.

I had a very pleasant exchange with the woman at the NWSC office when I went to pay my water bill. Unexpected. After several times buying food from the same woman in the market, I finally asked her name, Medina. AND she had mangoes when mangoes are rare right now. I saw our supermarket friend Ivan again and chatted a little. And while my boda friend, Patrick helped me buy airtime, another boda asked me, "so, you're still around?" People are getting to know me.

I guess, being in the city, it just takes longer to get to know people but it's helping. To have some friends who know my name, and don't call me "mzungu" makes me feels a lot less lonelier.

Anyway, if you're at all interesting in knowing how it feels sometimes to live in another culture after all the warm fuzzy feelings have faded, read the following blog post I found. Just insert the word Uganda for Mexico. This author amazingly describes the "Never-Ending Cycles of Cultural Adjustment" in such an honest, real, and amusing way. So, check it out. And thanks for reading.

http://www.posatigres.com/2010/02/07/the-never-ending-cycles-of-cultural-adjustment/

The Little Things

2010-08-12T02:49:00.000-06:00

Orange Roses

View from our verandah. I love the palm tree

Palm Tree


A new fern leaf growing in our fern plant pot

This is a time in my life where I am seeking out the joy in seemingly small things. A bouquet of roses which only cost me $2.50, the palm tree outside our house, a new fern shoot beginning to uncurl its leaves. At a time when life is turbulent and many challenges crowd the day, these little things manage to clear out a tiny space of joy and peace in my world and provide a moment of clarity; a chance to breathe.

I Wonder

2010-08-02T06:47:00.000-06:00

What would it mean to embrace the struggles, the challenges, the disappointments and unmet expectations in my life? Instead of fighting against all these things, using up all my strength and energy in the process and still coming up empty, what if I wholeheartedly embraced the pain along with the joy? The hurt along with the love? Frustration alongside elation? I wonder if I could really squeeze meaning out of all of it. To use those things that are supposed to be against us, as catalysts towards a deeper intimacy with my very own self...

Lazy Sunday

2010-08-01T06:29:00.000-06:00

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon. Patrick and I made the brilliant decision to go to church last night instead of this morning, cuz, we love sleeping in on Sundays and frequently end up skipping church altogether. I don't know if it's the influence of my dear husband, but I actually look forward to going to church these days. I like Watoto (a mega, mega pentecostaly church started by a Canadian couple) because there are other mzungus (white people) and the worship is usually pretty good and the teachings are decent. I mean, I can actually get something out of the experience..last night was communion service and I've always loved participating in that mysterious sacrament. I miss the Lutheran/Anglican-ness of such occasions but I'll take what I can get here.

Uh, that's it for now, cuz, I seem to be suffering from writer's block...

NICOLE’S UGANDA UPDATE JULY 2010

2010-07-15T05:38:00.001-06:00

THE WEDDING FEAST

And what a wedding it was! On June 19, amidst the ululations of the women, escorted by my African Papa, straining to get a glimpse of my groom, I entered the tent, which served as our church. I was SO happy! Nothing could wipe the smile off my face!

We exchanged vows, rings and furtive glances until finally they pronounced us ‘husband and wife!’

Then the party really began! The reception was beautiful. There was lots of food, lots of guests, lots of laughing, dancing, and speeches.

We ended the day quite joyously exhausted and there are too many people to thank for helping us pull the day off and making sure it was special, but I will mention a few..

My bestest long term friend Shannon came all the way from Canada to be my matron of honour, along with her husband Will and they were the keepers of my sanity in the crazy days leading up to the wedding! They were the representatives for all my family back home who couldn’t make it.

My dear friends, Paul and Harriet, who I worked with in Arua, came to be part of my entourage.

Pastor Sam Abuku, also from YWAM Arua gave me away as my African Papa.

All of Patrick’s family, aunties, uncles, cousins, sisters, brothers, mothers, grandmothers, made sure we had nothing to worry about on that day but enjoying ourselves!

Friends from Arua and Jinja traveled to be there with us!

And to all of you who sent your positive thoughts and prayers our way on that day, we thank you and love you!

Now, we get down to the business of married life and learning what it even means to be ‘married.’

Which leads me to the next chapter in our update:

ANG TULAY IS BACK IN TOWN!

The team from the Philippines has returned to the YWAM base in Jinja to continue the next part of the implementation of ANG TULAY (The Bridge). If you remember, I had been working with this group from June up until early November last year.

It is absolutely perfect timing for them to be back at this time and they asked me to join them in the work again. After talking things through with Patrick and praying, we decided I would indeed join them in Jinja, as the work is a joy to me and I was unsure of what I would ‘do’ after the wedding was over and real life began. Seems God just flat out knows what He’s doing. So, I will be staying in Jinja during the weeks, and travel back to Kampala to be with Patrick on weekends, for the next two months or so.

Just as a refresher for all of you, click on this link to see what Ang Tulay and Precious Jewels Ministry in the Philippines is all about and how it got started: http://www.preciousjewels.org/angtulay.html

As for Patrick, he continues his work as IT Auditor at Pride Microfinance in Kampala but he is looking out for a change, so please pray for him.

And onto the final chapter in our update:

LIVING IN DANGEROUS TIMES:

As many of you know, there were two terrible bombings in Kampala on the last night of the World Cup Games, one of which was suspected to be a suicide bombing. A terrorist group from Somalia are claiming responsibility hoping to drive out Uganda and Burundi’s peacekeeping forces from their country. Targeting civilians who were out to watch the World Cup match is senseless and disturbing. They also targeted an Ethiopian restaurant, where people had also gathered to watch the game. 74 people so far have died as a result, including foreigners and many were injured. In the days following, more bombs were discovered before they could go off, thank God! Security has been beefed up and the US and UK have also pledged their assistance and have already arrived to help investigate the bombings. We are living in dangerous times where not all people desire peace.

Initially I was very freaked out and if I am to be honest, I am still freaked out. Patrick works in the heart of the city! But what I’ve come to realize is, as our world gets smaller, and the global community continues to grow, we are all affected. No where is safe anymore but we cannot live in FEAR. I strongly believe in a God who desires PEACE, who teaches LOVE, and who exhibits FORGIVENESS. It’s this same God who brought me to Africa and gave me a deep love for this continent, who showed me the ones here He wants me to love, who gave me Patrick to be my husband, and who says to me:

“Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare…For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. -Jeremiah 29: 5-7; 11-14

So, we will keep on living and loving and praying for Kampala and Uganda. I invite you all to join us.

Thanks always for your continued support, your emails, your prayers, your positive thoughts and thanks for reading my update.

I love hearing from you so leave a comment!

Much love from Uganda,

Nicole

Wedding Pics!

2010-07-10T02:00:00.000-06:00

Riding The Wave

2010-05-18T06:15:00.001-06:00

First week in...

It's been a rocky start, feels like I am still getting my "sea legs" back. I've gone from 4 months being fully immersed in Canada, working almost full time hours, confidently taking Calgary Transit everywhere, going out with friends, grabbing take out coffee anytime I want to, to:

-not knowing what kind of "job" I'm going to find myself here
-suddenly having a lot of time on my hands
-anxiously navigating the bustling city of Kampala
-facing the need to create a new circle of friends in the city
-take out chicken, not take out coffee :-)

However, here is a list of a few things that make me happy to be back:

-PATRICK!! ;-)
-the "Africa smell" a sweet, smoky, earthy, humid air. Same reason I would stop in the African artifact section of the museum's storage when I used to do rounds. I love that smell.
-Lake Victoria (Patrick took me there from the airport when I arrived to have roasted fish on the beach)
-roasted fish
-pear-flavored alvaro, my favorite bevvy here
-the sun and warmth
-our new flat

I actually travelled to Arua on Friday to see my Ugandan Family and pack up the things that have been in storage here. It's a strange feeling to be saying good-bye to the place I've spent the majority of my time while in Uganda. I love Arua, I love living in the West Nile Region of Uganda, I love the people, I love that I'm familiar with the town, how to get around, that I know the shop-keepers. I love the YWAM family here...

But even though it's sad to leave, I have to believe there is something else out there for me. As Toto, my Uganda mother told me, I have to relax and just let things happen as they will. So hard to do after living in a place where you make things happen, here you let it happen. Ok, I might have to find myself a balance between the two, but I know she's right. Part of what makes the adjustment difficult is holding on too tight.

Ok Nicole, time to ride the wave...

Maple Latte Moment

2010-04-21T22:44:00.001-06:00

I had a moment today.

I pass the Second Cup in TD Square fairly frequently and always think, I should stop and get a maple latte. They are SO yummy. But I'm trying not to indulge too much in sugary, syrupy calorie-filled things.

Today, as I passed it again, after picking up some last minute items for the trip back to Uganda: The Body Shop Vitamin C Face Polish, 2/$15 camisoles at Suzy Shier, I decided today was the day for the maple latte.

Before I took that first sip, something in me said, "Wait. Savour this moment." So, I took that first sip with all the awareness I could muster, and a wave of bittersweet passed over me. It was the taste of maple, a truly Canadian taste, that made me stop and really take in this moment. In a few weeks, I will once again be in a different place, starting another new journey, no Second Cup or The Body Shop. No more downtown Calgary or museum. I'll be missing summer in the city, when the sun stays up past my bedtime and the city is buzzing with energy...and while I am very ready to leave, I am still a little sad to go...

In that moment, I stopped being just another shopper in a mall. I sat down and was aware of the people walking to and from their workplaces, the end of day commuters, the look, smell and feel of the cafe...

I took those few minutes to centre myself, if you will, to remind myself, that change is on the horizon and I need to try and grasp the last bits of Canada that I can. Stepping outside into a beautiful spring day in downtown Calgary, I felt the moment passing as I fell into step with the rest of the pedestrians making their way home. But I won't forget. I've filed it away so that when I need it, Canada will be close to me.

All that being said, I think I need to find some maple syrup coffee flavour to take with me! :)

Another Finding My Inner Artist Moment

2010-03-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

After quite an anxious-filled, stressful week, I had 2 glorious days off and I hardly knew what to do with myself. My friends suggested I try painting again, so I took out my drawing pad and sketched this picture of a little girl I knew in Arua, Peace. It was surprising to me that the process of sketching this little girl who I know and love and miss along with all my African family, helped me release some of the junk of the previous week. It was in some small way, "healing" for me. It doesn't really matter to me that I don't know a thing about shading or sketching, I'm just proud of the result because it's mine and it made me feel better. It was my own art therapy session!

Wonder-Full

2010-02-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

We've been having the strangest but most beautiful foggy, frosty, damp days here in Calgary. Unusual because we are used to dry cold and lots of blue skies and sun. The sight of the frost on everything is stunning! Like a magical, mysterious otherworld...when I walk through it, I feel the child in me reaching out as I gaze in awe at the pristine whiteness everywhere I look. It makes me smile. It makes me practically giddy with delight! I recall not too long ago, asking God to restore my sense of wonder, having become tired of my cynicism. Maybe this is part of his answer. Each time I go out I wish I'd brought my camera. Today, I remembered! Here are some of my delightfully frosty pictures...not as frosty white as it has been, but beautiful all the same...

Why Sleep Is Good:

2010-02-14T21:12:00.001-07:00

After an early shift at work yesterday, I slept for 3 gorgeous hours! Sleep is a rare commodity for me these days so it was almost intoxicating to experience! When I woke up, that's when I made the beans (previous post), but then I was like hey! Why not cupcakes?! The next day was Valentine's and work lately has been tough for folks, so I wanted to cheer us up. Here are my angel food cupcakes with pink cream cheese icing. I was up until almost midnight doing all of this but it was worth it! My co-workers suggested putting sleeping pills in my coffee if cupcakes was the result of a good sleep!

Finding My Inner Chef

2010-02-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

I bought a 13-bean mix and made them Ugandan style. They are SO yummy! I also found brown basmati rice which I didn't know even existed and it is...mmmmm....the combo was amazing.

Finding My Inner Artist

2010-02-07T10:15:00.005-07:00

A number of factors induced this sudden resurgence of my creative side:

..working back at the museum and being surrounded by creativity,

..the need to connect with myself on a deeper level as I adjust again to this world while still feeling the pull of that world,

..to have something to do when I can't sleep,

..and finally, to begin a portfolio of various art works for the possible future study of art therapy. (I've learned that you don't have to be an "artist" to study art therapy. You just need to have some experience with different art mediums.)

And even if I don't end up going down the art therapy path, being creative is still worth it for all the other reasons listed.

So here is something I painted one night when I couldn't sleep...I attached two different versions, one is taken with flash on the camera and one is without flash:

The Way You Move Me

2010-02-03T23:23:00.003-07:00

i didn't know i missed you so much
i didn't know i was hiding this ache so well
how did i get to be the lucky one?
chosen by you?
how did i get to be so damn lucky
to become part of you?
breath, bone and blood
face to face
earth and sky
rains
and sun
wars and revolutions
life and death
we belong now
to each other
for better or for worse
i've given it all
to you.

(video is sara groves in "I Saw What I Saw", poem is by me)

Nico

2010-01-28T22:18:00.002-07:00

In case you ever wanted to know how I got the email address: 'beninoise', I found this poem I wrote while in Benin. Not only did this experience inspire my email address, but it has inspired and fueled many a trip back to Africa until finally, Africa has become 'home.'

Nico

Nico dances
Dances in dust and sweat
Nico, careful,
Watching our pale skin redden
Beneath the unforgiving scorch of sun
Unsure
Because his chocolate skin remains unscathed
Except for the glisten of his sweat

Nico is so serious
Seriously discussing our presence under shade of a baobab with Jon
Only Jon can communicate with him
Our French is elementary at best
But I watch from over here
In my cotton miu-miu
Just mindfully trying to mind-read
Or lip-read
Or just understand
I'm burning to understand

I slip into their circle of discussion
On a gnarled root beneath their shady baobab.
Jon is sympathetic
He is trying to let me in on them
But I am jealous
Because Nico dances
Dances in dust and sweat
And I can barely say 'hello.'

I decide then
I make a decision
I break away from the pale and red skin
Cautiously position myself; my smile in, around them
In and around the brown and black
Just me and them
No Jon to translate, or pale hand to hold
I play their drum in heat and dust
I sing their songs
The simple ones,
As sweat glistens on my face.
And I dance
Dance in dust and sweat
Laughter and noise
Nico dances too,
Nico smiles at me
Revealing a small space between two bright ivory teeth.
We dance
We sing
We drum
In dust and sweat and laughter and noise
Heart burning, bursting, burgeoning

I go back to pale hands, red faces
Smiling, satisfied

Nico dances
Dances in dust and sweat
And when I appear,
Nico smiles and dances a little for me
To make me laugh
To make me smile
Nico is not so serious
He flits about and laughs as we try to speak to each other
He watches and dances as I drum
Drumming,
Dancing
Singing
Until we are all panting and glistening and heaving with joy
Pale-red and dark chocolate

Nico adopts me as one of them
Nico crowns me 'beninoise' like them
'Beninoise-Canadienne' he names me.
Everyone laughs
I laugh
But I want to cry
Or maybe clasp Nico's hand and dance some more
Until my feet fall off
Because at last I've been able to speak
I've spoken to Nico
We've talked
But I can barely say 'hello.'

I hope Nico is still dancing
In dust and sweat
Wherever he is,
I hope he never forgets

-April 16, 2002

More Pics

2010-01-16T00:52:00.003-07:00

Christmas In Three Hills
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377396&id=562340231&l=d0f7d3a94f

Car Accident
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377408&id=562340231&l=41e9167023

New Years At Rosen Lake
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377419&id=562340231&l=462189b1b5

Our "Introduction"
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377434&id=562340231&l=439cc97417

Bridal Shower
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377583&id=562340231&l=f24d1384a4

Calgary Tower and Patrick's Surprise Birthday Party
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=377605&id=562340231&l=e4ac8edba5

Christmas Eve At the Scott Household

2010-01-10T17:23:00.003-07:00

Patrick's awesome Olympic Canada hat

With the Scott family, our amazing hosts for the time we were there!

With Emily and Kaylee in their African tie-dye dresses

Rob initiating Patrick into the family of weird

Luckily, Patrick already knows how to be weird!

Patrick's Frist Visit to Canada: Day One

2009-12-24T06:32:00.004-07:00

Wow! We made it! It is so amazing to be here, in my home, with my family and friends, and Patrick by my side! At times, surreal, at other times, so normal, my two lives merging...

We left Kampala Monday. Emmie, Patrick's baby bro came with us to the airport. We stopped at our favorite eating spot in Entebbe, on the shores of Lake Victoria to eat roasted fish and chips (fries). I drank my favorite, Alvaro, a pear flavored malt drink. Yum!

On the way to the airport and all through the trip, Patrick would occasionally lean over to me and say, "In case you didn't know, we're going to Calgary." And we would laugh in disbelief and wonder.

Our first stop was Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We were surprised to see many people smoking inside the terminal! And the A/C was on high, so we bundled up in our warmest clothing, laughing that we weren't even out of Africa and we were already cold!

Then, to Frankfurt, where skin colours became increasingly paler and Patrick began feeling the odd one out, much the same way I do in Africa! How interesting to watch the world through his eyes! They let us off on the tarmac which was covered in slush and we laughed together as we navigated walking in the snow with our inappropriate footwear and braved the cool air. Inside the terminal, we went to the duty free shops to smell perfume for a while. Trying to find a place to sit was hard so we ended up at a table in the McDonald's facing the runway so we could see the planes taking off and landing. Patrick got a craving for fries, so we got some food and as were eating, I told him, hey, did you know you're eating McDonald's? He didn't know and so we "celebrated" another first Western experience for him.

At the gate for our Air Canada flight to Calgary, we prayed and hoped for seats together because there had been a problem with our booking. The woman at the counter was understanding and told us to wait as she worked on it. We were almost the very last people to get on the plane as they waited to see what seats were available. Finally, they found us seats together and one of the other women happily presented us with our boarding passes. She said, "Now you can hold hands!" And "Merry Christmas." A very sweet way to begin our journey home!

On the plane, I met an old friend going home after spending a long time overseas. We were both wondering how it would be to adjust to being home.

As we descended to Calgary, both Patrick and I had these goofy smiles on our face. Patrick was amazed seeing the snow everywhere.

We were greeted at the airport by my sis, Michelle, Kirk, Keenan, Bronwyn, and Rob with Emily and Kaylee. Rob had brought us a whole bag of warm clothes. Coats, toques, mitts, boots. I think Patrick was overwhelmed as we hadn't even stepped outside yet!

It was -15 C, and the cold air shocked our lungs! I had told Patrick in Entebbe, that once we got to Calgary, he needed to breathe and smell the air and notice the difference between here and there. Uganda has a warm, sweet, smoky, humid feel and smell to it. Calgary, has a clean, crisp, fresh, dry feel and smell. He noticed. :)

As we drove, he was impressed by the order of the roads and traffic, the wideness of the city, and again, the snow everywhere. Though very cold, he appreciated the beauty of it.

Once home, we were treated to the most wonderful hospitality by Rob and Stacey. They had made up our rooms, put heaters inside, treated us to dinner (pizza) and really great conversation. I felt like I'd never left. 6 months went so fast!

Patrick enjoyed the food, something I had worried about. He doesn't eat cheese, and we eat so much cheese here. But Rob had some lactate pills that seemed to help a lot so he could enjoy eating everything!

We had an amazing sleep after all that traveling, woke up refreshed, and I for one, definitely enjoyed the hot water shower!!

It is the coolest, sweetest experience having my dear Patrick here with me in my home!

Down With Malaria!

2009-11-06T08:19:00.003-07:00

I am recovering from a quite severe case of malaria. Actually, it hit me much earlier than I thought but, two negative malaria tests left me thinking maybe H1N1?? Or just a nasty virus?

Saturday I travelled with Patrick to the village. I spent most of the day asleep on a mat. I started getting the telltale awful headache that comes with malaria. I was sweating, achy, all the grossness that comes with it..Sunday, Patrick raced me back to Kampala, about 4 hours, from the village and straight to the hospital. Blood test confirmed malaria ++. I don't know what the ++ exactly means, but definitely severe. So, they admitted me, IV'd me and started treatment. Three bottles of quinine, a very strong drug were administered to me over a few days. It made me feel weak and gave me a strange ringing in the ears, so it was like everyone was really far away when they talked.

Patrick stayed with me through the nights and the first day along with Clare, his sister, Emmie, his little bro and their cousin Emuron. They took very good care of me though I was pretty out of it.

It was a scary experience for me but I'm on the mend. And thankful for the huge sacrifice of care my family here made for me!

Next time I think I have malaria, I'll just take the treatment immediately, negative test or not!

No more malaria!

Pause

2009-09-24T01:16:00.003-06:00

I'm sitting here, in the dust, the sun is hot, but I don't want to move. Actually, I'm afraid to move. I am paralyzed by indecision. There are too many choices and I don't know which direction to go. I feel alone. Where are the people? Why is it so quiet here? A slight breeze blows past my face but I barely notice the gift it is. That's how it is with me these days. I've lost my sense of wonder. I've grown cynical, and closed. I know, because I've been here before, that eventually, I will get up and just start walking, there is no other option, but I have no idea toward what I'm walking. I close my eyes and remember the other times I sat here and the way it all seemed to work itself out. I will myself to recapture wonder, and realize, I am again holding on way too tight to life. I need to let some air into this place. I need to re-learn how to breathe. When I open my eyes, I hear someone saying, "take all the time you need." And I relax a little. I breathe in, and then out. I open my hands, catch the breeze and realize what a gift this place is.

My Man Cooks!

2009-09-20T11:50:00.003-06:00

Yup! My man can cook, thank God! And he has totally changed my view of Ugandan cuisine. It is SO yummy! Beans, matooke, dried fish, greens...I hope y'all get a chance to taste this party in your mouth when you eat Patrick's food!

And he also has good taste in decorating. Hey, mom, see the wall hanging you made him hanging above the TV? :)

Seeing Sasha

2009-09-20T11:28:00.005-06:00

I got to see Sasha her last week in Uganda before she took off for Cambodia! I even got to room with her! Sasha was one of our students on the 2006 HIV/AIDS school in Cape Town and she has been in Soroti, Uganda for 2 years! So, it was a big deal for her to leave and a huge, awesome blessing to hang out with her while I was there in Soroti. Sasha, may you experience great, wondrous things in your new home! Love ya!!

Ang Tulay (The Bridge)

2009-09-20T09:44:00.004-06:00

So...what the heck have I been up to the last few months? Ok, so if you've read my newsletter, all of this is in there so sorry for the repeat, but I've added what happened in Arua which is new, so you can skip ahead to that part! And I've also added the few pictures I have:

Ang Tulay (The Bridge)

Ang Tulay! Actually, the timing of my arrival in Uganda was perfect because the team from Precious Jewels Ministry in Manila, Philippines, came back in June to begin training YWAM Uganda to implement Ang Tulay in Uganda! I attended the sessions last October, which is Phase 1 of the program, then we attended Phase 2 in November and now we are in the midst of Phase 3 and have been since June!

Ang Tulay simply means, “The Bridge” in one of the Filipino languages. It is a week long “journey” over the bridge using steps that help both children and adults work through their grief and trauma. See the link below for more information about Ang Tulay and also Precious Jewels Ministry.

http://www.preciousjewels.org/angtulay.html

What I love about it is the creative nature of the program. It includes stories, music, art, drama, small groups, and activities. I have seen with my own eyes the difference just this one week can make in a child’s life, helping them to share their painful experiences, for some, maybe the first time in their lives.

IMPLEMENTATION

From June we have been adjusting the program to fit the culture of Uganda. I’ve been part of the team working on activities that use local materials, while other teams worked on stories, others worked on visuals until we were ready to actually run an Ang Tulay session.

JINJA

We began in Jinja, first a 2 day mini Ang Tulay with the YWAM base children. Then we did an entire week at Siita’s Nest Children’s Home near the base. I was an assistant small group leader there, with 9 kids, aged 14 and 15 years. It was intense but very rewarding, helping the children open up and work through many issues ranging from the death of parents due to AIDS, abandonment, abuse by relatives or step-parents and worries about getting a good education and the finances to continue on in their studies.

SOROTI

We took a week break after that to re-group and prepare for Ang Tulay in Soroti, eastern Uganda. This is where there is currently a famine, people are struggling for food and some have also died from the lack.

It was such a joy to bring these young people from the village for a week and feed them 3 good meals a day as well as tea in the mornings. One of my favourite parts of the week was serving the food and handing each child their plate knowing they were getting proper nutrition at least for this one week.

These youth are part of Life Skills clubs in the village run by YWAM Soroti’s FACE program. FACE (Facing AIDS with Compassion and Education). They are vulnerable children, usually from families struggling with HIV, poverty, lack of education etc.

I was again an assistant small group leader with a group of 16-17 year olds. We had a challenge of language, but we managed with the help of one of the girls who knew English well and could translate into Ateso for the other members. It was such a privilege to be allowed into the painful experiences these youth shared with us. At times, it was very difficult not to cry in front of them as they shared about deaths, beatings, being sent from home to home, and their deepest desire to be educated but no one to help pay for their fees. Some of the youth remain in the primary school level because it is government funded though they are old enough to be in secondary. Some of them also came with only one set of clothing for the week, no soap, no mattress. We gave out soap and toilet paper and brought mattresses for them and I think they were really blessed to be so cared for and leave their troubles for that week.

I got so attached to these youth and it was hard to see them leave knowing some of them are going back into difficult situations. But we believe they gained some good tools for handling their situations and we keep praying for them.

ARUA

Now, I am back in Arua. Two weeks ago we began preparing to have Ang Tulay here on our base with our staff so they can see the benefit for themselves of this program. I was in charge of supplies and materials as well as songs and icebreakers for the week! On Sunday after not knowing if our Jinja team would even arrive due to the riots in Kampala, it was a great joy to see our Jinja team to arrive!

The week was challenging but amazing and rewarding! Our staff all responded positively. Every morning, we began preparing early, and didn't stop until late at night. But for me, it was a privilege to be involved and see some of my close friends and fellow staff members being touched by God in special ways.

The Filipino team has made a commitment to YWAM Uganda of 5 years to implement Ang Tulay here. So, we continue to move forward eventually being trained to train others! I had no idea the process is so involved but I see the huge need for this ministry to be done well and effectively. I’m glad the Filipino team is taking us through step by step!

My life these last few months has been all about Ang Tulay and these children and youth. I have definitely felt a shifting within myself, an opening up of my heart to the young people of Uganda. I hope and pray I will get to continue walking with these children and see their lives changed!

Riots In Kampala

2009-09-12T07:19:00.004-06:00

For the last few days, riots have broken out in Kampala, because the president has refused a tribal leader entry to the city. Our team from Jinja that was meant to travel today to Kampala to catch the bus to come to Arua, had to delay their travels because of the violence. So, we don't know if they'll be able to travel tomorrow or not. They are coming to help us run the Ang Tulay here.

Patrick, who works in Kampala, was in the midst of the riots, but at least safe in his office building. He said he heard gunshots, and the military was everywhere and he even witnessed someone being beaten by a bunch of men! I was so, so happy when he finally got home and was away from city centre!!

Hopefully, these two leaders, both with a lot of influence, can come to an agreement instead of inciting violence among the people!

Some of my Ugandan friends are struggling, wanting so much more for their country than this!

To read more, follow the links below:

Story:
http://globalvoicesonline.org/2009/09/11/uganda-nine-dead-in-kampala-riots/

Images:
http://independent.co.ug/index.php/component/content/article/106-myblog/1745-images-from-yesterdays-kampala-riots

Map Of Uganda

2009-08-24T04:38:00.004-06:00

Here is a map of Uganda so you can see some of the places I've been travelling to. I am based in Arua, in the north west but I've been on the field for the last 2 months. Most of my time has been spent in Jinja, right above Kampala. In one week, we travel to Soroti, in eastern Uganda for another week and then to Arua for a week and back to Jinja for debriefing and wrap-up of our programs. You can also see Kigali, in Rwanda where I went to teach an HIV/AIDS seminar in the bottom left hand corner.

My Two Lives

2009-08-05T11:05:00.004-06:00

So here I am! I'm back in Uganda! This has been the shortest time between two trips I've ever experienced. But it felt just right. I'm so glad I was able to get my job back at the museum temporarily (it's true! I'm glad)! And thank you Bob Martin for that! I really loved seeing old friends and family, going for coffee, after coffee (I love you Timmie's) with different people, walking around downtown Calgary and seeing the changes and though I was freezing, it was also nice to see snow.

Now, to the other life I lead in the hot, dusty and beautiful backdrop of Uganda! I have to say that I'm slightly bummed that I am so used to this life now and the things that used to bring wonder and amazement to me are just normal occurrences. Sigh...I very rarely have those "omg I'm in Africa" moments. But I do feel at home and that's a nice feeling. When I went to town the other day, I saw a few people who remembered me and were very excited to see me back. One of the supermarket owners gave me a free soda and asked, "How was Canada?"! The boda boda's I usually use for travelling to and from base were still there and happy to give me a ride.

I'm off again tomorrow to Jinja, a 9 hour journey, to continue helping implement Ang Tulay, grief counseling for children. We're gone for close to one month before we end up back in Arua again! I can't believe how fast time is going already!

My King's Bridge Interview

2009-06-01T09:57:00.003-06:00

Yesterday at the coffee shop, we showed my interview and then had a group discussion. If you want to see the interview and be part of the discussion, click on the link below, go to the video page and click on HIV/AIDS in Africa.

Thanks to everyone who came out! Your support is amazing!

http://www.bridgetalk.ca/

Going "Home"

2009-06-01T09:18:00.002-06:00

I'll soon be on my way. A few days ago, I told a friend I needed to get some more supplies for my friends back "home." She had a look of entertainment in her eyes when she pointed out how I referred to Uganda as home. I was surprised, not by what I'd said so much as how easily it came out and that I didn't think twice about it.

So, I'm going home. I leave June 13th and arrive in Entebbe the 15th. Spending a week in Kampala before going to Rwanda for a week to help a friend teach an HIV/AIDS seminar.

I have to say I'm pretty equal parts excited and nervous. I feel like I've adjusted pretty well back to Canadian life, only to have to re-adjust all over again in Uganda. Ah, well, I've become an expert at it I suppose.

Stay tuned for more adventure!

Eating White Ants in Uganda

2009-05-14T23:38:00.000-06:00

How Does It Feel?

2009-05-14T22:16:00.005-06:00

I met these youth in Arua who are super talented and I adore them! The group get together often and write their own songs as well as cover some of their favorite artists like Linkin Park, Coldplay and Avril Lavigne! They are Sammy, Mark, Becky and Naaman.

Uganda 2008 In A Nutshell

2009-05-13T19:11:00.002-06:00

Uganda 2008 In A Nutshell

Go Camp Jan 2009

2009-05-13T19:10:00.000-06:00

Go Camp 2009

My Cake Decorating in Arua

2009-05-13T19:09:00.000-06:00

Cakes

Soroti HIV/AIDS Research Trip March 2008

2009-05-13T19:01:00.005-06:00

Soroti HIV/AIDS Research Trip

Go Camp Jan 2008

2009-05-13T18:56:00.003-06:00

Go Camp: Jan 2008

Ahhh...Canadians...

2009-03-24T13:41:00.000-06:00

True Dat Yo..True Dat!

2009-03-14T23:55:00.000-06:00

What out-of-date phrase are you most likely to say?

What choo talkin bout?

Ghetto Bible

2009-03-14T11:15:00.005-06:00

The Ten Commandments from the Ghetto Bible! This is RAD!

1. I beez God. Don' beez dissin me wit otha godz.
2. Don' beez makin no hood ornaments like nothin in my crib, anythang upstayrs, orr anythang anywherz elz.
3. Don' beez usin my name 'n a wack way - homey don' play dat.
4. Y'all betta be keepin da sabbathh.
5. Don' dis ya mama ... an if ya know whoz ya daddy beez, don' dis him neither.
6. Don' cap ya bros.
7. Don' cheat on ya babies' mama.
8. Don' be liftin no goods.
9. Don' be lyin an' snitchin on ya homies.
10. Don' be eyein' ya homie's crib, ride, or nothin.

My favorite is #5, and a close second would be #6! I tried to find the whole bible in ghetto but came up with nothin'!

2009-03-13T22:30:00.002-06:00

Sigh...good movie...sad and good and beautiful and tragic. When we are touched by injustice on a personal level, we will never be the same. I am deeply troubled by this feeling that I can never do enough...it just never seems to be enough...

Blue

2009-03-12T16:40:00.004-06:00

I sometimes feel like I have so much inside that needs to be expressed, but no outlet to express it. I live with this "on-the-edge" of something state, kind of like the day today.

The sky is SO blue, the sun is SO warm, the snow is SO white, you can HEAR spring melting through the icy cold of winter, bubbling up and waiting to explode on the earth in green and brown, in new life, in shedding of layers...oh the freedom! It's just there, ready and waiting..

That's how I feel. Dying to shed my layers..I am chasing the spring, longing to explode with the sun, to empty myself into the blue of this sky. It's as though something is ready and waiting for me, I can sense it with all of my being, but it's somehow always just a day away, like the coming of spring. Maybe, just like the seasons changing, one day, I'll discover I am suddenly in the midst of it, alive, warm and free, surrounded by all the green and brown, the new life, discovering a way to explode into the blue.

Yes, maybe...

Re-Integration

2009-02-27T22:33:00.006-07:00

After a year in Uganda, I'm home for a visit. I arrived three days ago. My very first night in Canada, I had a dream in which I was nearly attacked by a family of moose! When I woke up and remembered the dream, I laughed out loud. Anybody wanna take a stab at interpreting that one?! :)

Birthday 2008

2009-01-01T03:13:00.003-07:00

On Boxing Day, Harriet and I fled our village in Pajulu and ran to the big city to have some fun celebrating a milestone birthday for me! I am still not sure how I can possibly be 30 already! We took a 7 hour bus ride there and stayed for 4 days. We enjoyed good coffee, the cinema, people watching, walking around town in the evening when the city comes alive and visiting my friend Heather. I haven't seen her since last January when I was in her wedding. Now her and husband David, have a beautiful baby girl, Abijah. It was a sweet break from Arua, but I was also glad to come home to my "village." Arua feels like home for me and there's no place like home.

Me and Harriet in Kampala

Me and Heather

David and Heather

Harriet with Abijah

Me with Abijah

Christmas 2008

2009-01-01T02:27:00.003-07:00

Well, another Christmas has come and gone. This is my third Christmas in Africa and it is always strange for me. Just doesn't have the same feel to it. But I still enjoyed eating the 20 different flavours of Italian ice cream made by the host of the Christmas Eve party we went to. Marscipone cheese, coffee, pineapple...mmmmm...

Christmas Day I got to gorge myself on a proper turkey dinner made by Vikki, one of our base leaders. They raised the turkey themselves, slaughtered, stuffed and cooked it! I was immensely impressed! I helped make the apple pie we had for dessert. Yum! Then we all played the Wright's Wii they got for Christmas! Was pretty rad. Found out I'm a pretty good Wii bowler. But not as good as Regina who has never played a video game in her life! She got top score!

From left: Regina, Harriet, Martha, Benjamin

Me and my bro Jono

How weird to see Christmas decorations andGREEN grass

This was a massive tree in the backyard of the Christmas Eve party we went to!

Christmas carols by candlelight, my favorite part of Christmas

Would You Clean Out My Puke Bucket?

2008-12-03T04:41:00.002-07:00

Well, I am really stunned and humbled and have to swallow some of my words from before. Two weeks ago I became SO sick with malaria that I couldn't drink or eat, I was puking and way out of it with fever and chills and this terrible malaria headache. We are living across the valley from the rest of the base, and since the DTS left on outreach it was only me, Paul and Eric in the dorm block. I was alone in my room but Paul and Eric became my nurses. Eric took me to get the test that confirmed my malaria and then for the whole week after that, they brought me food, soda, water. They carried my water for me to the shower, even put a chair in there for me cuz I was too weak to stand. They sat with me, prayed for me, encouraged me to eat when I didn't want to. They emptied my puke bucket for me, and kept their phones on at night in case I needed them. And when I was finally feeling better, they rejoiced with me; they were so happy! They really took such good care of me and I am so thankful. I have really seen the love, care and concern of my brothers in action. Have I ever cared for someone who is sick so carefully myself? In our culture, we leave people alone when they're not well; we respect their need for space and privacy. My brothers were constantly on the watch, even thinking they'd not done enough because sometimes I was left alone. I had to assure them it was ok with me. I am truly humbled.

I Am Sam

2008-12-03T04:34:00.003-07:00

My mom sent me the movie "I Am Sam" in a package a few months ago. It's Sean Penn playing a mentally handicapped man trying to raise his daughter and Michelle Pfeifer as his lawyer. I didn't know how it would go over here, but my friends LOVED it! Like loved it so much we watched it twice in 2 days and then everytime someone who hadn't seen it came along, we had to watch it with them. Now we are all quoting it around the base and anyone who hasn't seen it is super lost and just thinks we're freaks. It's been really fun. So, thanx mom!

Days In The Life Of...

2008-11-06T03:12:00.003-07:00

Isn't it amazing? Pertaining to the previous post, as I moped around wondering why I was even here blah, blah, blah, my brothers here confronted me for withdrawing and not speaking about what was bothering me. So, I told them and we had a huge discussion about gender roles and differences in our cultures and it bridged that gap between us. I mean, it didn't solve some of the big fat hairy issues but at least we heard eachother and I promised to be better at talking about my struggles instead of hiding. So, in the end, it becomes about friendship and doing what's necessary to keep that friendship from failing. We learned from eachother and will continue to do so as long as we are in eachother's lives.

Sigh...sometimes I can't believe how much we're alike and how much we're so different at the same time!

My Heart Hurts

2008-10-15T03:28:00.002-06:00

It's hard to be a western woman here in Uganda. I struggle with figuring out when to take a stand on behalf of women here, and when to just respect the culture.

I understand gender roles here are very different. A woman's worth is, not always, but often, determined by her skills at cooking, keeping the house and her ability to "produce children" as they call it here. (Sounds like the woman is a factory)! I bristle with disdain when this topic comes up, but I generally keep my views to myself unless asked, becasue even the women accept these roles and as I see it, are not all that eager for the kind of liberation I would hope for them. So I respect them.

But when it comes to violence against women, which is unbelievably acceptable here, I get so damn angry, so very, very, angry. And then sad. So very, very, sad. You see, many of my closest, dearest friends here are African. I adore them! But when the culture speaks through them, I just don't know how to proceed. How do I respoind to my brothers, talking about beating the wife they don't even have yet? How do I help my African sisters to be strong, self-confident women, without them experiencing cultural estrangement?

At times like this, I feel really alone. Because they don't understand where I'm coming from. And maybe they never will. But I want them to come to my side on this issue. There are lots of cultural things I can let them have, but this one thing, I cannot accept. And so I feel a rift forming, and it breaks my heart. I never wanted to be the "I know everything" westerner. And I don't want to be divided...will someone help me understand??

My heart hurts...

SEPTEMBER UPDATE: A SMOOTHER RIDE

2008-09-24T03:00:00.012-06:00

Hello hello! It’s been too long since I last wrote so I am going to try and fill you in on the last few months.

Looking back over these last months, I see I have learned so much! I’ve been able to adjust to this culture, the routine, the work and feel more at home.

HOSPITALIZATION
No, it’s not what you think. Our affectionate term here for hospitality is “hospitalizing someone.” One of my newest roles on the base is hospitality. I have been helping Regina, the hospitality queen but now I will take over for her when she goes to Sudan for two months with the DTS. I’ve already been the cake decorator to her cake baking but now I will receive visitors, make up the rooms and welcome the visitors with tea. African hospitality is very important here and sometimes it’s difficult for me, as my form of hospitality is a lot less formal. But I am learning and enjoying the challenge.

LIFE SKILLS
Our Life Skills program picks up again September 22 for our last term. During the break we have been planning our trip to Yumbe, to do more HIV work and we’ve been visiting some of our students. It’s really special to visit them outside the class and meet their friends and family and be in their homes.

YUMBE
Our visit to Yumbe was a success and a big thank you to all you helped us out! We discovered that in the last year, the women we visited have received training to go out to the more remote areas to teach about HIV/AIDS. This is so encouraging to us and we are now planning how we can continue to support them in this work. They are so passionate about their communities and I am definitely encouraged to see them taking the initiative!!
We also visited the Yumbe hospital where we spoke with the administration about their HIV programs, and we visited the lab to see how they do the actual HIV test. It has piqued my interest in this area of testing. I want to see how I can get more training in this area of VCT (Voluntary Counseling and Testing).
We also visited with the youth of the local church there and hope to bring Life Skills training to them during their term breaks.

Finally, we visited a little girl called Zaira who lives in the community where we stay. She is lame, can’t speak, is unable to care for herself, is prone to seizures and can be tormented by spirits at times. I know her from the time we took our HIV/AIDS school team there in 2007. We prayed for her a lot.
Now, when we went to visit her, we discovered her crouching in the compound, naked, dirty and terribly thin and weak. We came back the next day to bathe her, we gave her some of our clothes and prayed for her again. We feel very strongly that we need to monitor how she is being taken care of. All of us were touched and concerned by the state we found her in. Please pray for her and for us to know how we can help.

EXTRAS
Some of the other things that have happened in the last few months:
-had a team from the US come and they gave me the task to orient them to the culture here.
-led worship with a team from the DTS at the Anglican Church in town. We played and sang at all three services!!
-had the whole base at Pastor Sam’s house for his son, Stephen’s, birthday and everyone danced!!

-A story I wrote about a Congolese couple here is being published in the YWAM GO Manual! You can read the story on the YWAM Arua Blog: http://ywamarua.blogspot.com

ANSWERS TO PRAYER:
-we finally got a reserve water tank for the base!!
-we made new water filters for drinking
-we had a visitor here from the UK who is studying to be an actor. He came to one of our Life Skills classes and sang some broadway tunes for them! They loved it and we had the students sing some of their favorite songs. It was an answer to how we can make our classes more creative and lively. And music is something the youth really love here!!
-our trip to Yumbe!

MORE PRAYER:
-wisdom to know how we can continue to serve the community of Yumbe
-a good finish to this term’s Life Skills Club
-the development of the community life here on the base, physically, and spiritually. Lots needs to be done still to have a healthy community in all aspects.

Thank you everyone for your continued love and support!!

Family

2008-08-26T05:04:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, we found out that one of my fellow staff members here, and very dear friend, lost her father. It was unexpected and traumatic for her, as she had not seen him since he left their family when she was only 8 years old. She had plans to find him and reestablish connection with him so it was even more painful for her to hear the news.

I went with her and several others to attend the burial. It was my first time to attend a funeral here. We traveled quite a distance out of Arua, to their village where a big crowd was gathered. When we arrived, they began singing, dancing and playing the drums as we each took our turn to view the body. Then we sat and a number of people spoke in the local language, Lugbara.

The women continued to sing as they took the body to a closed off room for the family members to mourn. They wailed and cried. In another corner of the compound women were cooking the meal required by the mourning family to provide for everyone. In still another corner of the compound, was the freshly dug grave.

As the rain threatened to come, they sped up the burial and people gathered around to watch the coffin being lowered into the ground. It was an emotional day, but at the end of it, once back in Arua, all of us gathered around our sister and talked and laughed and processed.

Yesterday, as we traveled back through the villages and to Arua, I felt like I belonged in Africa. I have cried with my friends, laughed with my friends, struggled through things with them and they with me. We are family. It didn't make any difference that I was the only white-skinned person there at the funeral. I am part of this family, and I really do feel like this is home. I love them, cherish them and hope with them for the very best and I know they feel the same for me.

Carpentry Day

2008-08-26T04:38:00.004-06:00

Africa is great! I love Africa and I'm learning A LOT! However, there are a few things here in Uganda that need challenging, in my female, western, opinion. ;) A couple of them are, a) gender roles, and b) taking initiative to get things done.

Now, we have had a perfectly fine, newly made water filter that only needed a stand to be placed on so we could use it. But it sat in the storeroom for weeks before me and Stacey, one of our DTS students from the US, decided we needed to just build one ourselves. Her dad is a carpenter and I'm no stranger to a hammer and nails, so it was a go. We bought nails in town, found leftover lumber from all the construction on the base, a saw, a hammer and we were on our way.

Our other American sister, Laura, also joined us and away we went. We attracted the attention of a few of our male counterparts who lent their recommendations and their hands so it was a gender-mixed project, fine by me, because I want to see men and women working more together in all areas: the kitchen or the workshop.

After the stand was made, and the guys left, we girls decided to make our very own project. A bench for the girls room. And we did it! Ourselves! Woo hoo! It's weird that it should be such a big deal, but here in Uganda, it kind of is. One of the women walked by and oooed and awed at our creation. We felt pretty good about ourselves that day.

Not just pretty faces...;)

The bench and Stacey

The water filter

Me, Laura, Stacey

Joseph, helping me to hammer the nails

Job

2008-08-26T04:19:00.002-06:00

Job is one of our students from our Life Skills program at the secondary school. We went to visit him at his home in town and had a really great visit! We met his older sister, Imani, which means "faith" in Kiswahili and his cousin Frank. They are all from Sudan but have been living here in Arua for many years. I felt an instant connection with all of them. They are sweet and kind and intelligent. We talked politics, government, about our life skills program and YWAM in general. Paul, my colleague, expressed our hearts very well when he said, "we have gained a sister and two new brothers today." I really hope to continue to get to know them better. These are the moments that make me so happy to be here.

Left to right: Paul, Imani, Me, Frank, Job

I hope one day I will have a beautiful son like Job! Hey don't laugh! It could happen!

Heaven Is Tuna Casserole

2008-08-26T04:04:00.005-06:00

Apparently, heaven will be like tuna casserole according to my friend Paul. I made it for us one evening after he told me he'd never had tuna before and was curious. I bought the box in Kampala, good 'ol convenience food and they loved it! We polished off the entire saucepan! Laura, from the US, and I laughed at their reactions. Granted, it was pretty yummy, but heaven? I dunno. To each his own...

Nicole's June 2008 Update

2008-06-21T06:43:00.004-06:00

Greetings all. We are now approaching the six month mark of my stay here! But time is not the only thing moving!

Being a relatively new base, there are always changes, and there is always construction going on! Since I’ve been here, a crew has been working on putting up a dorm across the valley particularly for DTS students who are here three months out of every year. Students started arriving yesterday for the DTS and we were fortunate enough to have the building just finishing so they could move in and I have also moved into one of the rooms. I spent the day yesterday moving all my things across as the construction crew were still laying cement down around the verandah! Though living across the valley has some challenges, (no tap to access water, no electricity), it is actually so beautiful there and much quieter (save for the construction :)). Eventually we will get solar power there and some kind of access to water.

TRAVELS

The last few months have been a bit slow for us as schools were out on term break. So I took advantage of the down time to take a small trip to Jinja and Kampala with a fellow staff member, Regina. We stayed at the YWAM base in Jinja, saw the source of the Nile and the Bujagali Waterfalls, then went to Kampala for a few days to enjoy ice cream and seeing a movie in the cinema! We had fun but were also glad to get back to our village after the bustling chaos of Kampala!

Now things are beginning to pick up again here, with students returning to school and the start of DTS (Discipleship Training School) here on base. We have some new people and a new routine to get accustomed to. I am not officially staffing DTS, but I am helping out as needed.

HIV/AIDS LIFE SKILLS CLUB

After a long break, we finally got to see our students again at the secondary school in town. They were also very pleased to have us back, even requesting we make our program twice a week instead of once. This is so encouraging to us as we can see they are interested and eager to learn! We did a review of first term’s lessons and they really retained the things we taught! So now we have some discussing to do with the team about the feasibility of going twice a week.

PHASE 2

The YWAM base here in Arua has been in operation since 2003. As part of moving out of a pioneering stage and into more of a developed base, the leaders have introduced Phase 2, a program for new staff to get a better understanding of why they are here and how they fit into the vision of the base in their own unique way. Six of us meet every week to discuss things like, vision, finances/budgeting, newsletter writing, community living etc. The topics are good to think about; I appreciate the time we have to consider these things and the interaction with my fellow staff members. I was even recruited to team teach one of the topics (newsletter writing) which I enjoyed.

Thank you for reading my news and being part of this journey. I appreciate all the facebook notes, emails, pics etc.

If you’re the praying type, please consider these things in your prayers:

-a sustainable source of water for the base. Often our tap, which is meant to bring us water, fails and the department of water is struggling to figure out why. It has been dry for the last week now!
-health: being the rainy season, malaria instances rise.
-creativity to reach out to the young people in our HIV/Aids program

CIAO!

How Many Hours Does It Take To Drive 2 Hours??

2008-06-19T01:23:00.004-06:00

Pastor Sam Abuku, or Papa as everyone affectionately calls him, is one of our base leaders. He and his wife, Agnes, have been in the UK for the past three months staffing a Leadership Development School. They arrived back in Uganda last week for a YWAM conference in Jinja. Then, they were going to travel back to Arua with their vehicle, about a 7 hour drive.

We got a phone call Monday evening that they had broken down and were stranded about 2 hours from Arua and in the middle of the game park. Sharon, one of the staff here who has a vehicle, decided to go pick them up. She took with her Alex, who is from the area they were stranded in, and Samuel, a mechanic from Congo, and me, because her car is automatic and so I could drive if necessary.

We left around 8:30 and made great time out there. An hour and a half! Samuel assessed the problem: radiator tube was leaking and dirty radiator. The car was drivable after some bungee cord and water, but only for 10-15 km. Then we had to stop, let the car cool down, and refill the radiator. It was a beautiful night. The moon was full and bright enough for us to see well, the air was cool, the roads were empty. But that sentiment faded after a few hours of driving, stopping, driving, stopping. We wondered if it would be quicker to tow the car. So we attached the tow rope to Sharon's car and Papa's and drove at 20 km/hr for a while until we thought Papa's car was cooled down enough. Then we went back to driving, stopping, driving, stopping. Sometimes losing the radaitor cap becasue it shot up into the air from the pressure. I drove when Sharon got tired. We continued like this for hours! Sharon, exhausted, let me take over and I drove the rest of the night, helping Papa and Samuel everytime they got out to refill the radiator.

I couldn't believe it when I checked the time upon entering our compound in Arua. 5:50 am! It had taken us 9 hours to drive a 2 hour route! We all fell into our beds exhausted and slept the morning away. I was so glad we made it and even more glad I had decided to go so I could help drive and now I absolutely have to learn to drive a standard so I can do more driving! :)

Welcome to Our World

2008-05-12T09:06:00.004-06:00

I've known my friend Beatrice since last year when I stayed in Arua. She's the one who braided my hair and cared for me whenever I was feeling sick, and laughed with me daily. She just had her third child, a little girl, so I went to visit. She is so tiny and so cute, and I swear she smiled at me while I was holding her! Here are some pics from my visit.

Beatrice with her new baby...ahhh...only 5 days old!
Beautiful mother; beautiful daughter
Me and baby sharing our first silly photo
I think I want one...

Normally Strange

2008-05-04T07:30:00.004-06:00

I left the base today to run a few errands and had one of those strange, looking at my life from the outside moments. There I was, on the back of my motorbike boda, watching the palm trees go by, the children waving, the women carrying basins of bananas and avocados on their heads. There I was carrying 3 kilos of peanuts I had roasted and peeled, to be ground on the corner in a tiny machine that makes THE best peanut butter you've ever tasted! There I was popping by the tailor's house to see if he could make a skirt for me. There I was greeting my friends in one of the small food stores in town.

It's strange how normal life becomes here and how strangely un-normal it is all at the same time. That's all.

She Loves Me! She REEEALLLY Loves Me!

2008-04-22T09:13:00.002-06:00

My homegirl Shan came to visit me ALL the way from Canada last week! Though it was short, we made the best of our time, talking, drinking coffee, talking, laughing at our stupid jokes, talking, eating, praying, talking, and we even squeezed in a little work! Shan tagged along with us to our school ministry, and to our HIV/Aids Life Skills Club (but none of the students were there-shame). She even used her linguistical skills to help a girl here learn to teach English to one of our staff here. Yah, it was great! Short, but great!

Saying bye at the airport. Shan was just about to kiss my cheek
There's her little plane in the background
Drinking, what else? Nescafe!!
Icky got to go back to Canada with Shan. He might have future travel plans.
African toes

Beauty and Mystery

2008-04-20T06:18:00.002-06:00

Fragrant smoke from my incense stick wraps around me. Brown comes up beneath me, sturdy, strong; holding all the weight of my happily burdened soul while green shelters and canopies me in safety. I trust the greens and browns with these soft tears, all the "what if's" and "what for's." There is a dream's essence still haunting me; the sitting still holds hope for peace.

There is mystery and melancholy in the heavy, silver sky-I hope for rain. I stare into my own eyes in the mirror and wonder what's really in there. Something worth fighting for. Not all suffering and struggle. Thinking of the ones who drew me out into the open and kissed my soul with delight. Thanking them for seeing deeper. Wondering if I have the power within myself to escape my own walls or if there is hope of another. Maybe if I also become a soul kisser...draw us all out into late nights, staring with wonder at a wide, starry universe, and at eachother.

Ahhh...Beauty stirs up so much in me. Beauty and mystery. In your dark eyes; white smiles I am overwhelmed. Inspired to poetry or song; itching to dance next to you. Hoping you will come out, hold my hand and stare at the stars with me.

How the Gas Oven Saved My Life

2008-04-04T07:25:00.002-06:00

Digging-The Ugandan word for farming/gardening
Mingling-The process of mixing flour, boiling water and sweat to create a stiff porridge, the staple food for everyone here (the sweat is key to taste)!
Sigiri (I'm positive this is spelled wrong)- a metal stove to hold coals for a fire

So, I may not be able to "dig," I don't quite have the muscles for "mingling," and try making a cake over a sigiri with a Dutch Oven. Ok, probably someone out there is stellar at it, but not I.

However, give me a gas powered oven, and see how happy you will make me! Brownies, cake, bread, pancakes, French toast, water that takes 5 minutes instead of 15 to boil!

Two of our staff members left for three months to the UK and have allowed us to use their house while they're away, including the glorious gas oven! It has saved me from a possible nervous breakdown as I try so hard to adjust and learn how to do things the African way. My teachers have been gracious and encouraging, but the day I made brownies in that oven...yah, I can do that. I can bake. I love to bake. Me, I can do that. Here. In Africa. A peice of me is useful here.

I still fumble my way through the day to day life here in my village, and I'm learning along the way, but at least I have my gas oven.

Speaking of, better go check on my bread.

My Friend's Wedding in Jinja, Uganda

2008-02-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

wedding in Jinja

Deep Sighs Are Prayers

2007-12-20T11:22:00.000-07:00

It's been a long week. Phewwwwwwww.....let out a deep sigh.....

I have lived with the Scott Family since I got back from Africa in May. Rob, Stacey and their girls Emily and Kaylee have kindly and graciously put me up for the last 7 months. They have given me a room, have fed me, included me in their life and have grown in my heart to become my family.

So when Stacey's dad got sick and her sister (my best friend Shannon) temporarily moved in, it didn't feel weird or strange. It felt right that we should all be together. Shannon's boyfriend Will has traveled down from Red Deer a number of times to offer his support and lend a hand, quickly becoming part of the family too. Shannon and Stacey have been at the hospital every day since Allan was admitted. Three nights ago, he passed away in his sleep while both of them were by his side. Rob and I waited for them to get back from the hospital and we shared embraces and grief. The next morning I got a phone call at work that my brother-in-law's father had also died that night in a car accident. Overwhelmed by everything, I came home and was on the receiving end of comfort-giving. Weird hey? But also, not so weird. It just made me feel more like we were all in this together.

Now Shannon and Stacey are busy with funeral preparations, we celebrated the girls 4th birthday, Christmas in on its way, and I leave in 13 days for Uganda.

Life is amazingly dynamic. We may be going about our business and routine thinking we are in control until that illusion vanishes and we are suddenly thrust into situations we may not be ready for. Ready or not, life happens and I'm extremely humbled by this gift of life I've been given, thankful for a community that has become family, and awed by a God who knows and cares and guides....sigh....sigh now.

'We're walkin' on a thin string but I know The Lord got the whole thing in His hands.."
-Josh Garrels, Songbird

Do These Things Mean Anything?

2007-12-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

Is it possible, that God is so much bigger than us and our worlds, that He can cause our individual lives to cross over with a stranger's life even for a moment? And if so, if it's possible, does it mean something? Does bumping into one another cause a greater grumble of activity in the grand scheme of things?

I was set out tonight to do a very individual, specific task for myself. Find a guitar case. Not just any guitar case though. There are features this case needs to have: a) needs to be travel-friendly b) needs back-pack straps so I can hike around African villages with it c) needs to be lightweight d) needs to be sturdy e) inexpensive

I have been searching for this case for a month and a half and seem to keep coming up empty. I'll spare you the frustrating details. So finally, as I'm driving to the next music store, I start praying out loud. "Here's the thing God..." I laid it all out, what I would really like to have in a guitar case, and if He could help me out, I would really appreciate it...

In comes Shane at the music store, long, bushy grey hair, Santa-esque physique and kind blue eyes. First encounter: I ask if he could lend me a hand. He starts clapping and pointing to me shouting for everyone to give me a hand too. I laugh and say, "Yah, ok. I set myself up for that! Good one." He helps me on my quest to find THE guitar case and over the 30 minutes I remain in the store, he finds out I do HIV/AIDS work in Africa, why I do HIV/AIDS work in Africa, that I leave in January, that I go to church, that he has a daughter named Nicole, his son's birthday is today, he likes to crack stupid jokes that make me laugh, he is a Celtic Pagan, his wife also works at the store and they have a dog who licks my hand.

We finally track down the case I'm looking for in Edmonton and it will be here next week. Has features a), b), c), d), and e). Thank you Jesus! I am so relieved and happy. Shane offers his hand for me to shake and says, "Nice to meet you." I shake his hand and say likewise and also, I thank him for all his help and for some reason I decide to tell him what I've been thinking all along, that he is a very kind man. I tell him to have a fun birthday with his son. Shane loses the twinkle in his blue eyes; his face falls. "I'd like to," he says, "if my son also thought I was a kind man..." Ohhhhhh dear. I put my hand over my heart and offer my sincerest apology. His son is somewhere in Pennsylvania. I don't have to guess that they are estranged. I gently ask about his daughters and he says they're coming for Christmas and his smile comes back. I wish him a very good Christmas and then they are closing up the store so I have to go.

So anyway, all this struggle to find a guitar case, I'm just musing, was it all to bring me to Shane who in 30 minutes made an impression on me and who maybe needed to tell someone about his son on such an important day as this? It all of a sudden seems to mean a lot more than just me and my guitar case.

Hmmmm.....

TRUE

2007-12-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Why do I pretend? I'm tired of pretending. I want to stop pretending but it's become such an ingrained habit in me, I don't know where to begin. It makes me feel sick sometimes, the way I shove that little girl in me down, yell at her to be quiet and quit her crying. "I'll give you something to cry about" I say to her, echoing the words of my father from years past. I can't have weakness in me. I can't let anyone see how truly frightened and alone I feel. That just won't do. I have to steel myself against the blows life brings. There's expectations too I need to fulfill. People expect me to be funny, happy, laughing, bubbly, cheerful, a leader, a mature Christian... If I let them down, I'm afraid I'll lose companionship. And there's so much in the world to be depressed about, I can't add to the pain. I have to be what people need. Because I need those people to need me. I need to have a role to play.

But I'm so tired of it! This mask is suffocating me! It's beginning to meld into my skin and now I wonder how I will be able to tell who is really me, and who is the mask? Oh God! Ever since I got back from Africa, I've struggled with this masked society of ours. I see how those around me look at one another, judge one another out of their fear and I bought into that fear. And I started judging too, and I toyed around with a mask or two, wanting to know what it feels like to live someone else's life. It's not at all that I despise the life I have. That's the infuriating part. I love the life I have. I feel very blessed by it. So why would I go and play pretend??

I marvel at the ones I meet who freely show their true selves. They seem so free and peaceful. I long for that courage. And for that freedom and peace. I know I've been that kind of person before. I just don't know how to get back there.

So, here's the thing. I'm giving it up. I'm done. This is stupid. We all experience fear, loneliness, hope, disappointment, hurt, love. I don't want to pretend that I'm always fine when more than half the time it's a ruse.

And here's how I'm going to start. By admitting to you, friends, that I sincerely doubt my ability to make a difference in anyone's life and I'm a lot afraid to go back to Africa and try to help people whose lives are steeped in suffering. I don't know what I have to offer, especially since I have been somewhat estranged from Jesus who is the source of all the love, goodness, peace and sustenance that people need. That I need! We all need Him! All I have is hope in a God who is truly bigger than my mixed up self. And I have a very minute, mustard-seed size faith in Him, which I hope He will make grow into an enormous, full, leafy tree that will provide shade and health and beauty.

And I want to tell everyone I'm sorry for being a phony. Maybe if we all try to be more like who we really are, we won't need these silly pretenses. Maybe we can help eachother to be True.

I think that's it for now. I needed to get that off my chest. Thank you to all my loved ones who continue loving me for me. I love you for who you really are too, as super corny and cheesy as that sounds! It's TRUE!

"Wellness Is Cultural"

2007-12-02T07:53:00.001-07:00

I didn't want World AIDS Day to pass by and not do something or be involved somehow. Last year I was in Cape Town and we went from township to township doing skits, singing songs and holding a memorial for all the lives lost to AIDS.

This year, it was a bit more difficult finding events in Calgary to attend. This one was last minute. A gathering of Aboriginal people at the Museum where high school students had put together an exhibit looking at HIV in their community.

The parallels between our Aboriginal communities here in Canada and the life in the townships in South Africa are so similar. Poverty, drug and alcohol abuse, violence, lack of education...these things lead to the spread of HIV in all of our communities.

My hope is that we in Canada can be as open about HIV as I found South Africans and Ugandans to be. Everyone talks about it and even people infected with the virus are not ashamed or afraid to declare their status. In doing so, they are breaking apart the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS.

Here are some pics of the students' artwork. Let's talk about it.

Ebenezer

2007-11-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

Today,
I am building
This Ebenezer
Out of,

Well placed words,
A halo of blue tree lights
Cinnamon and peppermint oil on lips
Questions of purpose
"A Christmas Carol" sideburns
Three hugs in five minutes
A deliciously unexpected encounter
The whispered smile of divine,
Swirling in and out of the breath of our mouths.
Familiarity and mystery joyfully haunting
Confounding and simplifying
In the smile, the eyes,
The hand to face in expression of wonder.

For up to this point,
I have found help
So before I walk away from this place forever,
I'm placing my Ebenezer
Between yesterday and tomorrow
So I will never forget.

(1 Samuel 7: 12)

The Family Photo

2007-11-20T22:27:00.001-07:00

My sister, Michelle, brother-in-law, Kirk and nephew, Keenan came to Calgary from Saskatoon this weekend to visit. This was kind of our family's Christmas celebration because they aren't coming in December. So since we were all together this one evening, I decided we needed a family photo! Who knows when we'll all be together again since I leave for Uganda in January.

We had to wake Keenan up for this and he was NOT pleased, so we tried to take the pic as fast as we could. We could have played around more with the camera and different images but hey, at least we got this one. Go Family Olsen/MacIver/Tasa/Chabot!

The Miniature Earth

2007-11-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

One Way Ticket

2007-11-03T20:23:00.000-06:00

The ticket has been booked. I'm going back to Africa! The date will be January 2, 2008, nice way to start the New Year. I'm flying through Amsterdam and will stay a few days to visit good friends who were with me all last year, through the HIV/AIDS school in Cape Town and the outreach in Uganda/Sudan. I'm going back to the YWAM base in Arua, northern Uganda where I stayed last March-April just before I came home. I am hoping and praying about starting some sort of HIV/AIDS ministry, probably some kind of education/awareness/working with youth mixed with support for those infected/affected by HIV. Arua is also close to Sudan where I would like to go back to, also Yumbe, a village I've gone to twice and really want to go back to, and the base does some work in Congo (so I can use my French), and Central African Republic. All this means to you as my devoted reader is that I can get to a lot of countries pretty easily! I know it will all unfold once I get there.

I am SO excited!

I wasn't at first. When I booked the ticket, I was very freaked out. I went for a walk. It was damn cold! But I turned on the tunes and just walked. (As an aside, something I wonder if any other cold-climate person who has an ipod has noticed with a mix of frustration and amusement ...you can't turn the click wheel on an ipod with mittens on, huh...) OK, so I walk and I listen to my tunes and I decide to sit on a bench for a bit and hope the cold wind will clear it all up for me. Well, when I look up, the first thing to catch my eye is a young Sudanese guy walking across the street and my first reaction is to laugh out loud because I know God just let me in on a little secret...This is what I want. Africa. There's no doubt in His mind or anyone else's mind that I know of, but I needed to be reminded.

And I'm SO excited!

Halloween 2007

2007-11-03T20:02:00.001-06:00

I don't know how long it's been since I carved a pumpkin, roasted pumpkin seeds or handed out candy to the kids on Halloween. But I had fun doing all these things, especially because it was so exciting for Emily and Kaylee, daughters of Rob and Stacey who I live with.

E & K eating our pumpkin seeds

Our pumpkin "Johnny"

Me and Shan as bug girls

E & K in costume

Yah, that's my pastor...

...and his elegant wife Stacey

...and me...I might not be normal...

Johnny the pumpkin in old-fashoned spooky black and white

2007-10-24T15:05:00.000-06:00

Lounging around outside in late October in short-sleeves....thank you Calgary for being so unpredictable with your weather. Of course, when it decides to storm next week I may curse you...

An Inspiration Called becca

2007-09-15T13:50:00.000-06:00

I adore my friend becca. I met her in 2005 at Beautiful Gate in Cape Town. She always inspires, encourages and challenges me just by being her. Right now she is in India, leading a team of women that are helping other women to give birth to healthy babies. She wrote this post that really inspired me and I want to share it with you. In it she puts into words the reason I will continue to do the little bit that I can while I still exist on this earth.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 becca wrote:

let's clap our hands. (disjointed, but maybe headed somewhere...)

I noticed the other day that I excuse myself from clapping in a corporate applause. It's as if I don't think my two hands coming together make enough sound to matter either way.

In my usual dramatic style I considered the implications for my life. It's easy to be discouraged by the many needs and pains in the world, even in one city alone, or one village, even in one life. Structures of injustice, personal decision, national violence, lack of hope--so many destructive forces working against even one person, even one little girl living in Palestine.

And what am I expected to do? Save the world? Run for presidency? Why bother to clap my hands or give rupees to the woman asking for coins? Why pray over a newborn? Why get out of bed tomorrow?

Taken to an extreme, it seems ridiculous. Of course we should get out of bed. Of course we should pray. But I wonder where and why I've drawn the line that divides what is useful and will "matter" and what is too insignificant in light of the need.

I remember in the spring of 2004 tearing down the tents we slept in for a few nights on the main college lawn. We hoped to raise awareness among the 2'700 other students about the situation of refugees, particularly in Iraq and Palestine.

Of course my hopes for the event were high and disappointment set in quite deeply as only a few people participated and even fewer cared.

As my friend and I slowly dismantled the quiet protest on Good Friday I felt like I had failed basically every suffering person on the earth. Who was I kidding? What a waste of time and nothing changed. And I just feel depressed. And I didn't sleep well.

My professor would try to comfort me as I was continually disappointed with my efforts to see change that never seemed to come. "This is something, becca, not nothing. It's something."

At some point along the journey, the words of Jesus began to save me. In Matthew 25 I stumbled upon one of the few pictures of "Judgement Day" and I realized that those people who were called to Jesus to 'inherit the kingdom' were those who cared for Jesus (in all of his disguises) in the simplest ways. Food, water, hospitality, some clothes, a visit when she was sick and compassion when he was imprisoned.

A friend encouraged me to think about our Ressurrected Jesus who, after dismantling the forces of death in every sphere of this world and the world to come and ultimately bringing the indestructible promise of healing to every tongue and tribe and nation...makes breakfast for us on the beach. And says that if we love him we should feed his lambs.

So maybe my life's work won't bring that much change, and newborns will still die, women will continue to suffer alone in pregnancy and nations will rage against eachother.For now. But the powers of darkness hear my tears over a little baby in India and they hear the cries of oppressed peoples for justice and they hear the prayers of the sisters at St. Emma's Monastery and of a father longing for his son to come home. They hear the bridegroom calling out to His bride. And they tremble. Because soon, things are going to change.

So until then, let's clap our hands and pray and love eachother and take care of strangers and teach and hang out in slums and tell our stories and listen. As my friend sings, "I will beat my drum and you can beat yours too, and we will shake the earth, 'cause our names are new."

Globalfest with the Abdallah's

2007-08-21T20:42:00.001-06:00

I took the Abdallah' (my Sudanese family) out to the Globalfest Pavilions on Sunday. I was suprised how many people they knew there. Other refugees from Sudan were there to support the Darfur dancers. They knew more people than me and have been in Canada only 5 months!! I met their community leader, Eisa and a few other people who I tried to impress with my tiny bit of Arabic. Ha Ha! "As-salam alaykum"

Mohamed liked the Spanish music and dancers the best, while Alawia and I were impressed by the Ukranian dancers who leaped and twirled in superhuman ways.

On the way home on the bus, I told them I would keep going downtown and make my way home. In their broken English, they managed to get me to understand that they really wanted me to stay the night at their house which touched me deeply. I had to decline their offer because I was working the next day. When their stop came, I shook Mohamed's hand, hugged Alawia and then Sayda, who held onto me so long, I thought something was wrong. But she happily waved to me after they got off the bus and I waved back giddily, so honored to be their friend.

Me and AlawiaSayda

Face-painting

The Abdallah's: Alawia, Sayda and Mohamed

Alawia and me

Our First Bus Ride In Uganda

2007-08-08T16:59:00.000-06:00

Bleary-eyed morning beneath my mosquito net. Where am I? Oh yeah...the hotel...Entebbe...we leave for Soroti today on the bus. My watch says 5:00 am. The cultural shift is slow. All this traveling has left me numb. 15 hour drive from Cape Town to Johannesburg, a night at the Midrand YWAM base, six hour flight to Entebbe, another night here in the hotel...

Last night we went to the hotel restaurant to get dinner. I had an orange Fanta. Orange Fanta = foreign country to me. Only, I just saw they've reintroduced it in Canada. In plastic bottles though. Not glass. Glass-bottled orange Fanta = foreign country.

And I had my first taste of a staple Ugandan dish (which I grew to love later). Matoke. Boiled, mashed, green bananas with a gray peanut sauce. It turned my stomach. I helped Josine eat her fries and stuck to my Fanta. When the waiter came back and saw the barely touched food, his face fell and so did my heart. I tried to explain that the traveling, the exhaustion, the heat, all made it difficult to eat. But it was no use. I crushed him. Oh God! I made my first cultural blunder in this country and wanted to crawl under the table. Spoiled North American child I am!

I open my guitar case to retrieve the swath of fabric that was extra protection for my guitar but will now be wrapped around me for the next leg of our journey. We girls can't be traipsing around in trousers. Noooooo....Trousers = hussy here. The fabric is from a trip I took to Togo once. It's blue and white tie-dyed and actually extremely comfortable. I'm already getting the hang of this. Like riding a bike and I think back to those days in West Africa...sigh...Uganda is a lot like Benin and Togo, except they speak English here. Yippee! So many memories, emotions, heightened senses are seeping back into me, like a comforting hot bath after a long, hard day. I feel my shoulders relaxing, my anxiety receding as I breathe in this humid morning air. At least for now, in this bleary-eyed morning, I am peaceful.

I join some of the other girls downstairs in the restaurant for our complimentary breakfast but I can't eat anything. It is far too early for food. The sky is still dark. I see coffee and make a beeline for it. Oh! Thank God for coffee!! There is also a cloudy white juice some of the girls are drinking. Pineapple they tell me, also bleary-eyed. Yum! I sit down content to sip my coffee and thirstily chug this amazing juice. I finish half the enormous glass before Paula looks at me and asks, "You know the bus we're taking doesn't have a toilet right?" Doesn't have a toilet? It's too early to think. Like the ignition of an old frozen car not wanting to turn over on a cold winter morning, my mind has trouble computing. But slowly it makes the connect between my empty coffee cup, the half-drunk glass of juice and the face of the girl who has shared this important little fact with me half an empty glass too late! Six or seven hours on a bus and no toilet? Surely they will stop for who can possibly hold it that long? Paula shrugs when I share this common sense out loud. "Maybe" she says unconvincingly. She's been to Uganda before. She knows how it works.

I start to panic. I'm the type of person everyone hates road-tripping with. The type of person who must go to the bathroom twice before the movie starts and directly after. I have a pretty intense case of 'hamster bladder.' I probably stopped us every two or three hours on the drive from Cape Town to Joburg. This is not good. I try to calm myself with positive self-talk. You'll be fine Nicole. Don't worry. The bus will stop. It has to!

Our taxi has arrived to take us to the bus station in Kampala, a 45 minute drive. I look at my unfinished juice with contempt and dash to the hotel toilet, willing all liquid out of my body. It's all I can do now. This is it. The journey begins and despite this minor anxiety, I am actually thrilled. Africa!

We get to the station and are reunited with one of our students who had left a month earlier to visit Rwanda. It is so good to see her! I'm so happy to know she is safe and we are together, that I barely notice the rickety, orange-dust-coated bus we are loading our luggage onto. I'm happy to point out, the windows open so at least we will get a breeze.

I have fallen asleep due to the perpetual movement of being on the road several hours and the sun beating down on us. Tabea and Lucinda are also dozing next to me. The bus had to take a detour earlier because of road construction. According to a German girl we met on the bus who does this all the time, this will delay us another hour or two. Guh! I wake up to the familiar uncomfortable, burning sensation that my body gives me when it needs relief. Oh no little bladder. Not now! Oh God! I pray. I am actually praying now for a miracle; a supernatural enlarging of my bladder! I manage to ignore it another hour, distracting myself with the beautiful scenery outside. Banana and mango trees, mud hut villages, children waving as we pass...

Lucinda and I look at eachother knowingly. She probably also drank that gorgeous pineapple juice this morning, unaware we would be denied basic facilities on our bus. I am laughing inside. How will this play out? By this time, we don't care. A bush on the side of the road is all we're asking for. We are at bursting point and desperate. We discuss our options: find a cup or a bottle? Pray for a miracle like I have been already? Pee our pants? Make the extremely packed bus full of locals stop just for us white girls?

Lucinda gets up and grabs the arm of the conductor hastily. I don't hear what she says but the conductor speaks to the driver and a few minutes later, we have pulled over. Oh sweet Lord! Thank you! Thank you! Lucinda and I literally jump over luggage, chickens, and small children already hiking up our skirts as we disembark. Imagine if we had been wearing trousers!! Josine has taken this golden opportunity to join us. I don't look at the bus as I crouch in the too short grass. I pretend it's not there or I'll have shy pee and this is NOT a time for my pee to have stage fright! I know everyone on the bus is lobbying for a glimpse of the three white asses on the side of the road. We'll be a topic of conversation for days under the mango trees! I don't care! This is sweet relief! The three of us are laughing at eachother and the absurdity of the situation as we're crouched down with skirts hiked up. This will also become a great story we will tell over and over. "Remember our first bus ride in Uganda...?"

We quickly jump back on the bus, not wanting to aggravate the travelers by taking up their time. The rest of our team is snickering at us but we smile back triumphantly.

The rest of the ride goes by without incident. I lay my head against the window, smile contentedly, and wisely decline a sip of water from Tabea's bottle.

After this adventure, I learned to not drink a drop of any liquid from the night before a bus journey until arriving at our destination. Worked everytime!

African Stories: Boda Boda

2007-08-01T10:18:00.000-06:00

Most of us know what it's like to learn to ride a bike. When we were kids, somehow we learned to balance and then ride off on our own. We may have even become so confident, that we rode hands off the handlebars or had someone ride on the handlebars with us.

Well, that was when we were kids. The day they told us about the boda boda in Uganda, I was both curious and anxious.

The boda boda is a bicycle taxi fitted with a cushion over the rear fender. A person is meant to, straddle the cushion if he is male, or sit "side-saddle" if she is a female. (Sometimes we disregarded these cultural rules for the sake of comfort and safety). Then you have to trust the guy riding the bike that he will get you where you need to go safely, without throwing you off. With his thin street bike tires, he must negotiate through dusty, dirt roads, other boda boda, traffic, including large transport trucks, matatu taxis, pedestrians and we must not forget to mention the random goat/pig/chicken/cow making its way into our path!

The first day we decided to take boda to the market, we stood outside the gate to our compound and waited on the road, having been instructed to call out 'boda' when we saw one approaching. In no time we had rounded up a couple of amused boda-taxis as we nervously explained our boda-taxi virgin status.

They were patient as we maneuvered ourselves to sit on the cushion and rearranged our skirts so they wouldn't get caught in the spokes. I greedily grabbed the sides of the cushion, white-knuckled as we took off. "You sit properly for me." he instructed. What? I thought to myself. But this would become a common command on the boda which I never quite knew how to obey. How many ways can you sit on a cushion on the back of a bike??

My boda just kept going, effortlessly riding through town amidst people and vehicles who only slightly obey rules of the road.

The breeze cooled my hot, sweaty skin and I started to relax, trusting my boda driver, no longer too afraid. The exhilaration of this new adventure was intoxicating! The sights, sounds and smells of Uganda all around me filled me with that out-of-body feeling, you know, when you feel like you are looking at yourself from above or when you are both dreaming and sort of conscious at the same time. I smiled stupidly as we sped along the road, past shops, tailors sewing clothes, music blaring in kiosks, the green and white mosque, surrounded by palm trees, the line-up at Stanbic bank, samosas and mandazis frying in the cafes, wafting out to the street, mixing with the sweet sweat smell of my boda driver..."I am in Africa!" I thought to myself, a thought that came pretty frequently the first few months, and even a few more times after that.

I realized pretty quickly that the boda was not only useful for getting me places, but gave me a few uninterrupted moments to "spy" on my new African world without being bombarded by curious passerby and blazing heat. I loved it!

We arrived at our destination too soon. We dismounted and paid our drivers the required 300 Ugandan shillings, about 20 cents. One of them tried to get more out of us, a muzungu tax, we began affectionately calling it. Muzungu=foreigner or white folk. Of course, the good people we stayed with had warned us about this so we shook our head no but offered them thanx and a smile. They reluctantly went on their way and us on ours, having proudly survived our first boda boda ride!

Quote

2007-07-21T22:55:00.000-06:00

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

-- Anais Nin

Keenan's Baptism in Saskatoon, SK

2007-07-02T20:27:00.000-06:00

Keenan's Baptism

Teenage Affluenza

2007-06-27T10:48:00.000-06:00

I got the link to this video on Rob's blog: "Come To Church & I'll Buy You A Beer" (listed under my links)

It's awesome. Watch it!

Back in Canada

2007-06-25T16:32:00.000-06:00

It's always so strange to me how I can go from one way of life to another so rapidly. Often, I wonder if I just dreamed up these African adventures because they seem so far away from me now. Other times, I will see a Sudanese person walking the Calgary streets and I get this tugging, pulling on my heart, realizing it wasn't just a dream, it was a dream come true and in some small way I can identify with that person living in this culture so foreign from their own. And all the while I'm trying so hard to accept being here in my own culture even as the scents and sights and sounds of a far-off place haunt me daily.

Back in Canada